Worst Jokes Ever
Did you hear about the two thieves who stole a calendar? They each got six months.
Why do scuba divers fall backwards off of the boat?
Because if they fell forward, they'd still be on the boat.
What did the clock do when it was hungry? It went back four seconds.
My friend entered a pun contest. He entered ten, figuring at least one of them would win, but no pun in ten did.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels.
I can swallow two pieces of string and when they come out the other end, they'll be tied together. I shit you knot.
I saw this advert in a window that said: “Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.” I thought, “I can’t turn that down.”
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Follow the fresh prints.
What's a footlong and slippery?
A slipper.
He installed a hacked client on his MC server called cancer.exe.
He is helping world hunger by feeding cancer.
So, my friend and I were talking this time. I asked them what they would do if they ever met Rengoku. They said that they would probably like shake his hand or something, but I said I would lick his forehead. Wtf?
He sing, he dance, he he.
Hey, I know this is a classic joke but I found it pretty funny!
"My name is 4, four like the number," my friend said. "What, was 1 2 3 taken?"
I can even with it but I was bored and decided to share this.
John Lennon: "What a nice view."
John walked outside.
He got shot.
:skull:
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I took her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
Teacher: Hi class, today we will learn about the song, "London Bridge is falling down, falling down."
Then one student said, "I thought it was 'Twin Towers are falling down, falling down!'"
Who crashed the plane?
1. Abu Faram? - terrorist
2. The little kid Joseph?
3. The passed out pilot?
Or Jamal?
What’s the difference between a Rubik's cube and a penis? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.