Worst Jokes Ever

Yo mama so fat she needs to sit on 2 chairs.

What's white, sticky, and better to spit out then to swallow?

Toothpaste.

Call a group of emo kids Suicide Squad.

Love that dress; it would look much better on my floor, though.

Are you a ghost train? Because I am going to scream when I ride you.

Are you winter? Because you will be coming soon.

POV: You are 7 years old and you find a stick. SWORD.

How do you make an eight-year-old girl cry twice?

Wipe your bloody cock off on her favorite teddy bear after you’ve raped her.

How to harass? Say it out loud but slowly. Split that word into, and it sounds like "her ass."

Yo mama so fat that when she sits around the earth, she sits around the earth.

How many skinny people can fit in a tub? I don't know; they keep slipping down the drain.

What do you call gay parents?

Poly.

What do you call a dog with no legs? Call him whatever you want, he's not coming.

I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before kicking the bucket: "Hey, wanna see how far I can kick this bucket?"

And so the Lord said unto John, "Come forth, and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.

Did you hear about the two thieves who stole a calendar? They each got six months.

Why do scuba divers fall backwards off of the boat?

Because if they fell forward, they'd still be on the boat.

What did the clock do when it was hungry? It went back four seconds.

My friend entered a pun contest. He entered ten, figuring at least one of them would win, but no pun in ten did.

Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels.