Worst Jokes Ever
The trip from your eyebrow to your hairline costs $6000.
My sister told me only onions make you cry, so I always hit her back when she hit me, but I hit her with a shoe only to catch her cry.
Whatever happened to the emo? (wrong answer only)
Straight men change their girlfriends like they change their undies. So, about once a month.
How can you tell if a man is straight? You don't have to, he will tell you.
The good thing about being gay in school is that you can be the best student and still get all the D's.
How many heterosexual men does it take to change a lightbulb in heaven?
Both of them.
Why did Stephen Hawking go to hell?
Because he couldn’t climb up the stairs to heaven.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite food?
Runner beans.
Why did he die? He forgot to get a new GPU for his new PC.
Why did he quit the internet?
People kept on (rick) rolling him.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite toy?
Hot Wheels.
What's that Pokemon that evolves into macargo?
Slugma.
Slugma dick.
A priest and a rabbi were hanging out at a playground. The priest waves to a kid to come over and tells the rabbi, "Let's screw this kid."
The rabbi looks confused and asks, "Out of what?"
What's the difference between a dead body and a Lamborghini?
I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
Yeah, Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah. Suicide if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad, I know, yeah, I'm sad, I know, yeah. Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah. Suicide if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad I know, yeah, I'm sad I know, yeah.
I gave her everything. She took my heart and left me lonely. I think broken heart's contagious. I won't fix, I'd rather weep. I'm lost then I'm found. But it's torture bein' in love. I love when you're around. But I f**kin' hate when you leave. Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah. Suicide if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad I know, yeah, I'm sad I know, yeah. Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah. Suicide if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad I know, yeah, I'm sad I know, yeah. Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah. Suicide if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad I know, yeah, I'm sad I know, yeah. Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah. Suicide if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad I know, yeah, I'm sad I know, yeah.
Q: How do you fit 4 gay men on a bar stool?
A: Flip the chair upside down.
Helen Keller walked into a bar, a chair, and a table.
Q: How do you turn a cat into a fish?
A: Tell the woman not to wash down there.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t find home.