Worst Jokes Ever
What do parents tell little boys to make them behave?
"Be good, or when you're asleep, Michael Jackson will get you!"
You're so fat the only letters of the alphabet you know are K, F, and C.
When was the last time you could see your whole body in the mirror?
You have two brain cells; one is lost, and the other is out looking for it.
What is a Karen called in Europe?
An American.
Your hairline is so far back Trump was ashamed.
In the bus, you can't spell "black" without "back."
A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.
This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.
What is the difference between your dad and a boomerang? The boomerang comes back.
I went home to my girlfriend with milk! She said, "Oh thank you honey!"
Then I got a call from a girl named Melissa. She called and said, "Steven, where the hell have you been? It's been two weeks and you still haven't come back yet?"
Your hairline looks like the McDonald's sign M.
I can see my future in your forehead.
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome on the beach?
A baked potato.
"My friend and her boyfriend were kissing until she puts her tongue down his throat, and what happens next is really weird."
The tongue gets stuck in his throat and starts to guh-guh-gughhh trying to get her tongue out of his throat, but it cumssssss out with spit all over his tongue, then they break up because he didn't want that to happen ever again...:/
Like if you are a simp.
Wanna know why I don’t make suicidal jokes?
Because I am one.
What do you call Snoop Dogg’s giant turd?
Poop Logg.
I call this my great talk with Siri.
Me: Hey Siri, give me a "yo mama" joke.
Siri: My mother? Huh?
Me: Did I stutter?
Siri: Interesting question.
Me: It wasn’t a question.
Siri: I’m not sure I understand?
Me: You should understand.
Siri: Hmm... Is there something else I can help with?
Me: No, you b***.
Your mom is so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her.
Your mom is so dumb, she called me asking for my phone #.
What’s brown, fuzzy, and wears sunglasses?
A coconut on vacation.