Neurology jokes

What do masturbation and brain damage have in common? After a few strokes, there’s no going back.

How do you throw a surprise party at the hospital?

Throw a strobe light in the epileptic ward.

People having seizures are just people dreaming about rollercoasters.

Are you the voices I've been hearing?

Because I can't seem to get you out of my head. (Schizophrenic RIZZ)

That one teacher that flips on and off the light switch to get the students' attention... that one kid with epilepsy...

I'm so jealous of babies with anencephaly.

They can eat all the ice cream they want and never get brain freezes.

You know what I like most about people with Parkinson's... Their handshake!

You know why I have so low IQ? It's because the left side of my brain gets nothing right, and the right side of my brain has nothing left.

Every time I go to the store I look in the deodorant section and my dyslexia acts up. Instead of "antiperspirant," I read "antidepressant." At least I get a bunch of extra snacks out of my shopping mistakes.

I think DJT has FTD.

What do you call two Michael J. Fox's standing next to each other?

Parallel Parkinson's.

If someone has a hyperfixation with drawing and playing, does that mean they are on the "artism" spectrum?

My neck, my back, my crippling anxiety attacks.

Patient: "I'm starting to forget things."

Doctor: "Since when have you had this condition?"

Patient: "What condition?"

Trump's medical records were just released. According to the brain scan, the left side of his brain has nothing right, while the right side has nothing left.

I almost had a joke about Parkinson's disease, but I was too shaken up to say it.

Old man goes to the doctor.

The doctor says, "The test results are back, and I'm sad to say you have cancer and Alzheimer's."

The old man says, "Phew! At least it's not cancer!"