neighbor's house jokes

House

  • Police: Where do you live?

    Me: With my parents.

    Police: Where do your parents live?

    Me: With me.

    Police: Where do you all live?

    Me: Together.

    Police: Where is your house?

    Me: Next to my neighbor.

    Police: Where is your neighbor’s house?

    Me: If I tell you, you won't believe me.

    Police: Tell me.

    Me: Next to my house.

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    Blonde

  • Police: Where do you live? Blonde: With my parents. Police: Where do your parents live? Blonde: With me. Police: Where do you all live? Blonde: Together. Police: Where is your house? Blonde: Next to my neighbor's house. Police: Where is your neighbor's house? Blonde: If I tell you, you won't believe me. Police: Tell me. Blonde: Next to my house.

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  • Police

  • Police: Where do you live? Child: With my parents.

    Police: Where do your parents live? Child: With me.

    Police: Where do you all live? Child: Together.

    Police: Where is your house? Child: Next to my neighbor's house.

    Police: Where is your neighbor's house? Child: If I tell you, would you believe me?

    Police: Yes. Now tell me. Child: Next to my house.

    Police: ... Child: 😊

    Police: *Proceeds to beat the life out of the child*

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    Kid

  • Kid: Where do I put this paper?

    Teacher: I already said go ask your neighbors.

    Kid: Ok. *Walks home to his neighbor's house*

    Kid: Hey neighbor, I didn't know where to put this paper, and my teacher said to ask you. Do you know?

    Neighbor: No, sorry, I don't.

    Kid: Okay, bye! *Kid walks back to school.*

    Kid: Teacher, my next-door neighbor didn't know.

    Teacher: Ugh, you went home?!

    Kid: Yes, you told me to!

    Teacher: I meant at school!

    Kid: Ohhhhhh!

    Teacher: Duh!

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    Police

  • Police: Where do you live?

    Me: With my parents.

    Police: Where do your parents live?

    Me: With me.

    Police: Where do you all live?

    Me: Together.

    Police: Where is your house?

    Me: Next to my neighbor's house.

    Police: Where is your neighbor's house?

    Me: If I tell you, you won't believe me.

    Police: Tell me.

    Me: Next to my house.

    Police: *Arrests me*

    Chair

  • Q: What did the kid say as he tossed a chair to his neighbor's house?

    A: You're the chairman of the board!

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    Police

  • Police: Where do you live?

    Me: With my parents.

    Police: Where do your parents live?

    Me: With me.

    Police: Where do you all live?

    Me: Together.

    Police: Where is your house?

    Me: Next to my neighbor.

    Police: Where is your neighbor’s house?

    Me: If I tell you, you won’t believe me.

    Police: Tell me.

    Me: Next to my house.

    Pedophile

  • Statistics show that 1 in 3 people live next to a pedophile. However, I think that's a lie because I just live next to 2 stunning 8-year-olds.

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  • Stalking

  • I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer.

    I saw it through my telescope last night.

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