Friends: "You wanna hang with us?"
Me: "No, I wanna hang myself."
You learn from the best.
Tried committing suicide last night...
Never doing that shit again, I almost killed myself!
Sometimes I look back at everything bad I have done. I tell myself it's ok, they're just telling me to keep myself safe :)
That's it, it wasn't a joke.
Did you hear about the terrorist comedian? He was actually quite funny... He just blew the delivery.
(I'll show myself out)
Someone said to stop hurting myself, but I'm still trying to cut my arms off.
Roses are red,
I don't know what is brass.
I tell myself,
"Don't touch grass."
Every time someone calls me fat, I get so depressed I cut myself... a piece of cake.
i made this up
i was watching a school baseball game, and i was yelling at a kid to take it home, he took the bat and threw it, and then ran away. i asked the teacher/coach what the problem was, and he said the kid was an orphan, and i started laughing so hard
later that night i wondered where he stormed off to after he thew the bat and i thought to myself not home
Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!”
Kid: “Whatever!”
Principal: “Why did you have to swear? Because of that one demerit!”
Kid: “Doesn't matter!”
Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!”
Kid: “Oh well!”
Principal: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!”
Kid: “I'm trying not to kill myself!”
Every time someone calls me fat I get so depressed I cut myself...
A piece of cake.
The kid in the wheelchair was getting bullied so I encouraged him to stand up for himself idk why he started crying
This is the account of music provider just let you I post for the enjoyment of myself, and to spread different kinds and types of music willingly. I do not respond for the soul reason of ✨people✨ and do not take offense to anything that I post. If you have and issues or just wanna talk contact me i'm only discord so that's all you getting (not being rude) ill put my discord in the comments.
I was making love to this girl, and she started crying. I said, “Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?” She said, “No, I hate myself now.”
– Rodney Dangerfield
If I wanted to kill myself I'd climb your ego and jump to your IQ.
To start off this Christmas season, I'ma make a list of what I want, then I'ma make plans with my family, then to start off my decorations, I'ma start with the first ornament and hang myself.
The emo kid said, "I wanna die." But the quiet kid said, "Nah, I'm gonna die myself, bye!"
Why don’t I shut myself all the time. I can only fit so many pares of kid in my mouth and stomach at the same time.
I saw this one quote: "The people who smile the most are covering the most pain." I think this is true, just not with everyone. As I am really depressed and act like myself with my friends, but with my parents and family, I force a smile so they don't worry more than they do.
I did a test for my therapy session to see what level of depression I had. It came back with severe, 22/24, but I asked her to tell my mum it came back as moderate, saying I would tell her that my depression got worse. She went along with it, but I haven't told my mum and I now make things sound like I aren't as messed up as I truly am to my therapist.
Why do cats leave scratches on arms? They don't; I do it myself.
I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey but then I turned myself around.
