My jokes
"When I was a child, my blind mother taught me hand jobs, like carpentry and painting with her legs."
"Talking about childhood habits, my friend told me he still collects coins and post stamps and all. He asked me, I said - breastfeeding."
I told the last person I slept with I was pregnant. He freaked the fuck out but calmed down after he realized it was April Fools'.
The look on my cousin's face was hilarious.
Are you a blood bender? 'Cause you're making my blood go south🖤.
What did the SS say when A.H. was running out of ideas?
"You Wannsee my 'final solution'?"
I asked my friend if he would take a bullet for the last person he slept with.
He said hell yeah, I'd do anything for my sister!
My wife told me to stop being an idiot.
I told her, "Which one do you want?"
My wife said I didn’t listen to a single thing she says.
What a weird way to start a conversation!
My favorite meme is, "N_gga."
I finally know why my brain doesn't work!
On the left side, there's nothing right, and on the right side, there's nothing left.
I wanted to fuck my mom, but she replied, "My pussy only belongs to your dad." That's why I had to fuck her in the a$$!
"Others, Morris, Sal, Sal, Rasuba Marid, Things!"
My son is broken: "I think at home!"
Happiness!
"Pull down your pants, pull out my willy, stir your guts round like a hot bowl of chili."
I had sex with my boss's daughter.
I didn't get fired. I'm self-employed.
I asked Siri why I am still single; she showed me a pic of my mom riding on my dick!
While an unsuspecting father's at the office making money, this 18 year old son will spend his day in mother's cunny.
We're at the breakfast table, father eats and takes his calls, he doesn't know my mother's toes are kneading at my balls.
I joined ISIS to help my self-esteem issues.
Everyone kept telling me, "You’re the bomb!"
Here is a jacket for my favorite Jew.
It says, "271032."
My mom came to me and shouted, "Nobody is giving me a fuck." So I went forward and fucked her!
I love you, Explain Bear. Please bear my children.