The cops are still searching for my wife's killer. Luckily I already fled the country.
Abner’s wife was laying on her death bed. She suddenly used all her strength to sit up and say to her husband, “I must tell you something, or my soul will never know peace. I have been unfaithful to you, Abner. In this very house, not one month ago.” “Hush, dear,” soothed Abner. “I know all about it. Why else have I poisoned you?”
Why did the murder invest in condoms?To kill the future buyers!
knock knock
who's there?
A murderer.
A murderer w-
is cut off by being murdered
Murder:wanna play a game? me:ok (pulls out xbox controller)
A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Any last requests?" "Yes," replied the murderer, "Will you please hold my hand?"
I saw a man sitting on the ledge of a bridge the other day, and asked him what was wrong. He responded with nobody loves me, so i told him that may be true but you dont wanna kill yourself you want to die of old age, or at least be murdered, suicide is for the weak. he responded with your right so I pushed him over the bridge, and he died of murder
the reason why steven h died was that someone poisoned his chocolate mouse
Mary's mother was a good person why did she die? -because she got stabbed in the heart 60 times by a switchblade
A foreign man came to America not knowing a word of English and right away began looking for a job. He became a chorus teacher and learned to say, ̈Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi! ̈ After that he joined the Army and learned to say, ̈Yes sir! ̈ After that he worked at a restaurant and learned to say, ̈Forks and knives, forks and knives! ̈ After that he worked at a candy store and picked up the words, ̈Goody-goody gumdrops! ̈ A few weeks later, there was a murder in the area and he was the first person to be interrogated by the police. The interrogation went as follows: Policeman: Who killed the man? Foreign man: Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi! Policeman: Did you kill the man? Foreign man: Yes sir! Policeman: What did you use to kill him: Foreign man: Forks and knives, forks and knives! Policeman: You ́re under arrest. Foreign man: Goody-goody gumdrops!
to be brutally honest i think his wife let him die for money cos they could just plug him back in, surely they have an android cable about?
Please no kill
At night I became a mattress murderer
A man named Icide ruined my life. I asked a friend if he would help me sue him. He said yes. But for some reason, he killed me. All I wanted was for someone to help me sue-Icide...
In the morning, I become a cereal killer.
The ice cream man tried to murder me today.
Today someone was killed with a starter pistol. Police think it might be race related.
4, 6, 8 and 9 have all been killed. -- 2, 3, 5, 7 and 11 are the prime suspects.
