Q: Why did Hitler shoot himself?
A: Because his mother taught him to take out the trash.
Never got a mother's love, lol.
So, I was in school, and there was a number saying "696969," so I said to my mother, "What does it mean?" She said, "Your fucking dad and I!"
Kris
Damn this shit!
Megan Thee Stallion: What!
Kris: My mother is a fucker!
The whole world:
OH NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I took my mother-in-law out yesterday.
God being a sniper is so fun!
"Go frick a cow!"
"I already fricked your mother."
Why are there only 363 days in an orphan's calendar?
They don’t have fathers or Mother’s Day.
Imagine losing your child in WW2 and your son fucking respawns, so you tell him off for not getting enough kills.
I call this my great talk with Siri
Me : hey Siri give me and Ur Mom joke
Siri: My mother ? Huh?
Me: Did I stutter?
Siri: Interesting question
Me : it wasn’t a question
Siri: I’m not sure I understand?
Me: you should understand
Siri: hmm... Is there something else I can help with?
Me: no you b***
I took my mother in law out today...
I love being a sniper...
What’s the difference between a mother and a girlfriend?
A girlfriend likes a bad boy.
How does a hillbilly mother know when her daughter is on her period? Her son’s dick tastes like blood.
Your mother is so fat, she actually went on a diet and started exercising, and I hear she's doing quite well now.
Spy: Hahaha.
Me: What?
Spy: Time to pick up your mother.
Me: Oh no....
When you were born your mother said, "Oh, what a treasure!" Your father said, "Yeah, let’s go bury it."
Why did the orphan cross the road?
He thought he saw his mother.
When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.
Turns out, I'm just a burden.
One of my earliest memories is seeing my mother's face through the oven window as we played hide and seek, and she said: "You're getting warmer!"
"Yo mama so... Wait... Whose mother am I speaking of?"
I've heard stories of my mother. She was a teenager and left me in the blender, but luckily the power cut out, like at the orphanage.
