1273 My mother does not love me nor does anyone and my family
Orphanage kid: you’re ugly Kid w/ mother: your mom
Your mother is so fat she actually went on a diet and started exercising and I hear she's doing quite well now.
Dad: Alive Brother:orphan(fault=Mother) Me:dead on the inside but sadly alive Mother:Alive... Wait a minute.. I thought you were dead mom.. right your dead to me atleast.
IVE HEARD STORIES OF MY MOTHER SHE WAS A TEENAGER AND LEFT ME IN THE BLENDER BUT LUCKILY THE POWER CUT OUT LIKE AT THE ORPAHNAGE
I took my mother in law out today...
I love being a sniper...
One of my earliest memories is seeing my mother's face through the oven window. As we played hide and seek and she said: "You're getting warmer!".
When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, im just a burden.
YOMAMA so... Wait... Who's Mother Am I Speaking Of?
What’s the difference between a mother and a girlfriend?
A girlfriend likes a bad boy
Why did the orphan cross the road? He thought he saw his mother.
When you were born your mother said, oh what a treasure, your father said, yeah let’s go burry it
spy:hahaha me:what spy:time to pick up your mother me:oh no....
A little girl asks her mum, "Mummy how was I born?" Her mother smiled and replied: Once upon a time, your daddy and I decided to plant a wonderful little seed. Daddy put it in the earth, and I took care of it every single day. The seed slowly grew more and more leaves, and in a few months it turned into a beautiful, healthy plant. So me and Daddy tool the plant, dried it, smoked it and got so hight that we fucked without a condom!
There was a Cowboy riding in an desert when he saw a little girl up ahead. He heard her crying. So he went up to her and climbed down from his horse and asked her "Hey what's going on ? Why do you cry ? Where are your parents ? What happened ?". The girl said under an crying sad voice "The indians came, killed my father and my mother and raped my sister." The Cowboy just laughed unlocked his belt and put his trousers down and said "Guess it isn't your day is it".
YOUR MOTHER
There was an Indian riding in the desert when he saw a little blond-haired white girl up ahead. He heard her crying. So he went up to her and climbed down from his horse and asked her "Hey what’s going on ? Why you cry ? Where are your parents ? What happened ?". The girl said under a crying sad voice "The bandidos came, killed my father, my brothers then my mother and raped my sister." The Indian just laughed, untied and dropped his breech cloth then said “Guess this isn’t your day is it”
POV: Wine Taster in hell
I was, sitting with the best wine ever made on the table in front of me. this silhouette begins to speak, "you have risen to be the most superb Wine Taster on Earth. then you got run over by a truck hauling freshly made wine to a warehouse. your crimes are as follows: you left your high school prom date with another man after you got her pregnant, you let your mother believe that the cat ran away after you drowned it in the pool, and you never got married. how do you plead?" the man looked at the silhouette like it was a purple rabbit. "guilty," said the man, "but if you would be so kind would you at least tell me what the wine in front of me tastes and smells like I will take any punishment you deem fit." very well," said the silhouette, "but you will regret that request." out of the shadows comes a boy only looking 19 years old. the boy says "I will you taster today. I am confident about my sense of taste." the boy takes the first bottle and opens it, pours it into a wine glass, and swirls it around. He then takes a sniff and begins to drink, to the Wine Taster he says, "Mmmm, Taste like chicken."
