Once i was walking along the beach and there was a girl with no arms or legs there, i walked by and she said excuse me, will you touch me ive never been touched before, i was like okay so i touched her, i kept on walking along and there was the same girl, she said sir will you kiss me, i went alright so i went up and kissed her, i thought that was weird but anyway i kept walking along and there she was again, she said sir will you fuck me? I went okay so i picked her up and threw her in the ocean and went YOUR FUCKED NOW
Why is it you donate one kidney you're a hero but donate four or five and people run and call the police?
Where did Joe go after getting lost on the mine field? Everywhere.
What should you never say to a Japanese person, Your da Bomb!
Why did Mary have a little lamb đ? Because a big one was too much in bed.
i would make a dad joke, but i dont have a dad to joke about.
A father of five puts on gas mask and a hazard suit, and walks outside, but before he could make it, his son came and asked "Dad, what are you wearing?". The father would answer with "A costume for Halloween.". the child asked "can i join?". He said no, for he said it's their last Halloween. *after that, I saw green smoke all over the same house they lived in.
If you kill someone, that's murder. If you kill a family member, that's still murder. If you kill a child, that's "child abuse"
I told my kids to smile with the monkeys in the open zoo. They never got together at all.
If I smiled one centimeter each time I watched someone I hated die, I'd look like the cheshire cat.
The Titanic before iceberg be like: we can't go under it, we gotta go through it!
what makes a cult and a racist family of 5 common? not all are friends
Tell me morbid jokes in comments so I have some jokes for my friend
Do you want to hear a dark joke let me turn the lights off
What did one casket say to the other casket? It that you coughin'?
Bully: i bet ur dick is so small when u look down you cant see it
Guy: i dont, i see ur mom
Where did tanner go during 911 terrorist attack?
Everywhere.
How does a cannibal like his meat?
Human.
I got arrested because I cremated a guy. They said the guy had been alive when I burned him. I mean, it's an early cremationâwhat's the difference?
what dose a pedophile and a light switch have in common
They both get turned on by children
