If you kill someone, that's murder. If you kill a family member, that's still murder. If you kill a child, that's "child abuse"
I told my kids to smile with the monkeys in the open zoo. They never got together at all.
If I smiled one centimeter each time I watched someone I hated die, I'd look like the Cheshire Cat.
The Titanic before the iceberg be like: "We can't go under it, we gotta go through it!"
what makes a cult and a racist family of 5 common? not all are friends
Tell me morbid jokes in comments so I have some jokes for my friend
Do you want to hear a dark joke let me turn the lights off
What did one casket say to the other casket? It that you coughin'?
Bully: I bet your dick is so small when you look down you can't see it.
Guy: I don't, I see your mom.
Where did tanner go during 911 terrorist attack?
Everywhere.
How does a cannibal like his meat?
Human.
I got arrested because I cremated a guy. They said the guy had been alive when I burned him. I mean, it's an early cremation—what's the difference?
What does a pedophile and a light switch have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
One day there were 3 people a mom and two kids. One of the kids walks up and asks her mom why she was named rose. Her mom told her that she ate a rose petal when she was born that is why she was named rose. Then the second child walked up and yelled ahhhhhh and the mom said shutup billy goat.
What's red and blue and runs up your leg?
A homesick miscarriage.
What do you call a dead hooker? It doesn't matter she won't answer you.
Did you hear about Alicia's car accident? She was really drunk and all over the road Until she was all over the road.
My fortune cookie said, "Your existing plans will succeed." Not necessarily, since I'm suicidal...
if your a cat person never let hungry chinese into your house they might just have a snack
Why did little Timmy dip the cookie in water?
"Because his dad never brought the milk."
