What do you call a bunch of retarded kids in a swimming pool?
Vegetable soup.
Morbid Jokes
When I was in high school, me and my friends would play with this girl who had Down syndrome.
We would get into a circle around her and say, "Nightmare, nightmare!"
I like my women like I like my chocolate.
Edible.
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.
I bought shoes from a drug dealer. I know he LCD'd them and all, but I have been tripping all day.
If you turn the word "racecar" backwards, it says "racecar".
But if you turn the racecar sideways, you have Paul Walker's blood on your hands.
Pickup line; Hey mama, you school? Cuz I'd like to shoot some kids up in you.
I was at a funeral for some kids in a school shooting. I don't understand why everyone was so sad, so I asked a lady, "what's so sad?" and she said "What do you think was running through these kid's heads before they died?" I replied "probably a bullet". She gasped and said "do you have any idea how insensitive that is? What do you think is running through their parent's heads?" I said "probably all the money they're losing from this funeral."
Want to hear a joke?
Fortnite.
What's the difference between my car and a hooker? I park my car in a garage instead of leaving it on the side of the road.
Somebody called the cops for a school shooting, what a snitch!
Why did Timmy throw the clock out the window?
It reminded him of Arnold Clock, the man convicted of knife raping his wife.
Christopher Columbus: *Sees native Americans* Can I see your land?
Native Americans: Sure, just be care..........
Christopher Columbus: Boonk gang whole lot of gang shit.
The other day I pushed a Chinese woman off the Golden Gate Bridge. I was Wong on so many levels.
There was a boy named Sammy, and he was deeply in love with a girl named Rayne. But she didn’t notice him or talk to him. But one day, she did, and they end up liking each other and getting married and lived happil- wait no, that’s not right. Sammy snuck in Rayne’s house at night and kidnapped her, locked her in his basement, and turned her into a puppet so she'd be with him forever and ever. The End.
One day, someone goes out into the forest to go hunting, and finds out there are a few others in the forest. He comes back the next day to learn he is the only person there.
Where are the others?
They're in his freezer.
Stop making 9/11 jokes, my father died in a plane crash.
Best pilot in Saudi Arabia.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Disabled.
What did the priest say to the other in the orphanage?
"Let us prey together."
How do you make any salad into a caesar salad?
Stab it twenty-three times.
