Morbid Jokes

When Chinese baby’s are born they should put “MADE FROM CHINA”.

What colors were Kurt Cobains eyes? Blue! One blew right and the other blew up!

What is a cannibal's favorite food? Crackers

My girlfriend lives a few miles away from me. The other night, she called me at around 3 AM. She was terrified. She said that there were two armed gunmen in her apartment. With all that adrenaline going through my system, it made it hard to go back to sleep.

What do apples and witches have in common? They both hang on trees.

These two guys were at a bar flirting with these girls the guy says " Are you a parking ticket, cause you got fine written all over you" The girl turn and say "How about you pay for them and then I can pay you back with me getting all over you"

Whats the difference between an air blower and Little Boy?

When the air blower blew it did not wipe out Hiroshima.

"How was your day?" "It was great" "what was so great about it?" "i saw a puppy" "awww" "and i ran over it :)"

Me and my brother where called the twin towers, my brother lived up to his title after the plane crash

When your friend does a finger-gun and his dad appears behind him and does it too, with the real deal

How did stephen hawking die?

He rolled too far away from the outlet on the wall

What do you call an all you can eat buffet for a Pedophile? A school bus.

Police: Where do u live Me: With my parents Police: Where your parents live Me: With me Police: Where do you all live Me: Together Police: where is your house Me: Next to my neighbor Police: Where is your neighbor’s house Me: If I tell you, you won't believe me Police: Tell me Me: Next to my house