Hi, Welcome to Dave's Orphanage you make them we take them how may I help you?
Being gay sounds like a pain in the ass
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One screems when you out it in a blender and the other one is a cooperative little fruit.
You find yourself stuck in a hole with a murderer, a rapist, and a lawyer. You're armed but you only have 2 bullets left, what do you do?
Shoot the lawyer. Twice.
Roses are blue violets are blue
What ohh shit!!!!!! I hate having dyslexia
What do pedophiles and Sandy Hook have in common?
Shooting up schoolchildren.
Roast: What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus? One is hairy and smells like fish, and the other is a walrus. You're welcome.
You know how on Snapchat hmu means hit me up? A school posted smu. Nikolas Cruz responded.
Friened says, "your so drunk last night, u throu a mushroom at a migit and said grow mario grow.
If your ever bored just beat up a orphan, what are they gonna do tell their parents
What do you call a group of redneck superheroes?
The Inbredibles.
Roses are red Violets are blue Once I'n done choking you You will be too.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions which made me cry.
Onions was a good dog.
Your joke: you
I am like currency, people always trade me out for someone better
What’s the difference between a bus full of children and a fish?
The fish can swim
Make a wish Kid: I don't want to go to Disney World, I just want to keep living my life
Make a Wish Staff: Get the F*** out
Someone kills a emotionally weak person by hard words and bullying. No one will suspect the killer was, anyone who took part.
So a doctor walks into the room with a dying patient. He looks the man up and down and says gravely: "I'm sorry, you only have ten left." The other man smiles nervously and asks, "T-ten what doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?" The doctor calmly looks at him. "Nine."
Q, Why did the elephant paint his toenails red? A, To hide up cherry trees. Q, What's the loudest noise in the jungle? A, Giraffes eating cherries.