Morbid jokes

Morbid Jokes

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?

One screems when you out it in a blender and the other one is a cooperative little fruit.

You find yourself stuck in a hole with a murderer, a rapist, and a lawyer. You're armed but you only have 2 bullets left, what do you do?

Shoot the lawyer. Twice.

Roast: What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus? One is hairy and smells like fish, and the other is a walrus. You're welcome.

5

I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions which made me cry.

Onions was a good dog.

Someone kills a emotionally weak person by hard words and bullying. No one will suspect the killer was, anyone who took part.

So a doctor walks into the room with a dying patient. He looks the man up and down and says gravely: "I'm sorry, you only have ten left." The other man smiles nervously and asks, "T-ten what doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?" The doctor calmly looks at him. "Nine."

Q, Why did the elephant paint his toenails red? A, To hide up cherry trees. Q, What's the loudest noise in the jungle? A, Giraffes eating cherries.