Morbid jokes

Morbid jokes

My favorite thing to do in my free time is putting a large skewer on the front of my car and speeding through a school zone trying to make a kebab.

There's two types of emo people:

1. People that cut side to side.

2. And people that cut up and down.

The most efficient is up and down.

  • 4

    • Trump says to Obama, "You know it’s the White House, not the black house, right?" And Obama says, "Yeah, but it isn’t the orange house either."

    Race car backwards is race car.

    Race car sideways is how Paul Walker died.

  • 1

    • There are three people on an island. One dies, and the second guy goes to bury them. He comes back with deer meat. The first guy eats it, but the second guy refuses the meal.

    When the men return to the mainland, they part ways. The first man goes to eat the deer again at a local restaurant. He takes one bite, then jumps off a bridge.

    In heaven, an angel asks him why.

    “Well you see,” he answered, “that man was a tribal cannibal. Delicious in my wife’s meat, though.”

    At weddings, old people poke me and say, "You're next!" So I do the same to them at funerals.

    Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy. You wouldn't believe the happiness I felt as he slid the pistol back into his pocket.

    Why were the people during 9/11 mad because they ordered pepperoni sandwiches, but they got two planes?