Moon jokes
Why is the moon always hungry? It is almost never full.
Uranus has 27 moons.
Mooning is very astrological!
What did the bones on the moon tell the astronaut?
The cow never made it.
What did scientists prove when they saw a skeleton on the moon?
The cow didn’t make it.
Who did that
What was the first sport played on the moon?
Capture the flag.
Why did the moon go to sleep? Because he was bossy.
Your mama smells so bad that everytime she goes outside, she gets ticketed for pollution. She's so ugly that everytime she looks out a window, she gets arrested for mooning.
Why haven’t any women gone to the moon?
A: It doesn’t need to be cleaned.
Why is there no woman on the moon?
Because it doesn't need to be cleaned.
Why did the cow jump over the moon?
Because the farmer had cold hands!
Codenames for them FUCKING drugs, my crackhead ngas.
Cannabis: Weed, Pot, Ganja, Herb, Grass, Mary Jane, Bud, Chronic, Kush, Trees, Hash, Hashish (concentrates).
Cocaine: Coke, Blow, Snow, Dust, Charlie, White girl, Pearl, Nose candy, Rail, Sniff.
Crack Cocaine: Rock, Hard, Nuggets, Dice, Jelly beans, Moon rocks, Sugar block.
Heroin: Smack, H, Dope, Junk, Black tar, Brown sugar, China white, Horse, Dragon, Skag.
Methamphetamine (Meth): Crank, Speed, Chalk, Ice, Crystal, Glass, Shards, Tina.
MDMA (Ecstasy/Molly): E, X, XTC, Molly, Beans, Adam, Happy pill, Love drug, Dancing shoes.
LSD: Acid, Tabs, Doses, Dots, Blotter, Window pane, Sugar cubes.
Ketamine: Special K, K, Vitamin K, Cat Valium, Green K.
Your forehead's so big that I was tryna figure out if that was you or the moon.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it!
I wasn't staring at you; I was trying to figure out if that's your forehead or the moon.
Your forehead is so big, the moon landing was there.
I’m so annoyed by those people who just believe in anything they hear. This is a conversation I had a few days ago.
Idiot: "The moon landing was faked! So unbelievably fake!" Me: "You believe in the moon? Stupidass."
What is money called on the moon?
Mooney.
Why didn’t the moon eat dinner?
Because it was full! 🌕
Yo mama so fat that when she landed on the moon, instead of saying "One small step for man kind," she said, "One small step for world domination!"