Mom's jokes

Your mom is so fat that she made the earth flat.

Is your mom a virgin?

Mine is.

How am I alive?

You tell me.

Your mom is hot.

Cause she knows how I like it, and that I’m a little young to be in the bed, butt-naked doin' your mom.

Spanish is difficult. When my mom gives me food, she says "toma," and that's drink in English, so I always drink my food.

My mom told me we were flying to a building to see my aunt. I wondered, "Are we about to relive 9/11?"

My mom said, "Don't jump off, we need you."

I said, "No," then I jumped off a building and died.

When you were born, your mom said you were out of bounds, so you went flying out of the hospital.

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Your mom." "Your mom who?" "It's not your mom, it's my mom!"

1. Are you talking to me because I think you talked to my backside?

2. Your mom must taste good because it is always in your mouth.

3. My foot lasts longer than your life.

Evan, this is Mya, and your mom told me you were adopted, so we are done. Bye, don’t talk to me.

You're so ugly not even your mom thinks you're beautiful.

Why are orphans so sad?

Because every time they swallow, they think... "You should have Mom."

Why do orphans not like jokes?

Because they hate your "mom" and "dad" joke because they miss their parents. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

B b b b bird bird bird, the bird banged your mom!

Kid: Mom, do trees poop?

Mom: Yes. That is how we get #2 pencils.

Your classmate: You're so ugly.

Me: That's what your mom said when she had you and called you a mistake.

When your mom comes in at night then sees your... sleeping, but sees something moving, so she gets a chair and whacks it, then she says, "I thought it was a mouse."

My girl got mad at me last night for saying to my mom that she had a dildo ready at all times and is always hard, so my mom wanted to see. So I whipped out my penis and my mom said it’s bigger than your dad’s!

Your mom has a bone to pick with me.