Mom's jokes
My mom said to take out the trash bags, so I did. And the next day, my mom asked, "Where are your sisters?" I said, "In line to get crushed."
Bully: I bet your dick is so small when you look down you can't see it.
Guy: I don't, I see your mom.
My mom came to me and shouted, "Nobody is giving me a fuck." So I went forward and fucked her!
My mom has a policy where if you kill a butterfly, no butter for a week, and if you kill a grub, no grub for a week.
She killed a cockroach today. I have some bad news for her.
A boy with Down Syndrome was talking with his mom.
“Mom, why did God make me like this?” he said.
“It’s because God made you special,” she said.
“Just kidding, I was only talking about your needs.”
My mom told me to get off the computer or she will slam my head into the keyboard.
I don't think she lskdjfklsdjf.
What's similar between a pregnant 14 year old and the fetus inside of her? They are both thinking, "Oh shit, my mom's gonna kill me."
Kenny was into incest until his mom died.
Now he's into necrophilia.
I lost my virginity to a girl with Down syndrome. I told my mom I wanted my first time to be special.
My mom was 19 when she was pregnant with me, My mom was 39 when she was pregnant by me!!!
Violets are blue, roses are red.
Last night your mom was giving me head.
A favorite childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather, that is until my mom took the urn away from me.
What does a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus have in common? They're both thinking; "Oh sh*t, my mom's gonna kill me!"
Boy: "Hey mom, can we have ice cream?"
Orphan: "What's a mom?"
Kid: "What's dark humor?"
Mom: "You see that man over there without arms? Tell him to clap."
Kid: "I am blind, Mom."
Mom: "Exactly."
Kid: Mom! You lied to me!
Mom: When?
Kid: You told me that my little brother was an Angel!
Mom: Sooo?
Kid: Then why didn’t he fly when I threw him off the balcony?
Mom: WHAT!!!??!!
What do you call it if your mom is a guy and your dad is a woman?
Transparent.
One day, a girl was showering with her mom. She pointed at her mom's breasts and asked: "When can I get these?" Her mother replied: "In about 6 to 7 years when you grow up :)".
The other day, the girl's showering with her dad, and she pointed at his penis and asked: "When can I get this?" Her dad looked around and replied: "In about 20 minutes when your mom leaves the house."
A daughter asked her mother, “Mom, how do you spell ‘scrotum’?”
Her mom replied, “Honey, you should have asked me last night—it was on the tip of my tongue.”
What joke could orphan's never understand?
Your Mom jokes.