The last 2 words you say after sex before going to sleep ?
Goodnight Mom !
Having homosexual parents must be terrible.
Either you have a double dosage of dad jokes or you are stuck in a cycle of "go ask your mom".
What's the difference between three cocks and a joke?
Your mom can't take a joke.
What made Adam and Eve's marriage perfect?
He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about his Mom's cooking.
A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. Not aware that 9 year old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet. The boy now has company.
Boy: ‟Dark in here.” Man: ‟Yes it is.” Boy: ‟I have a baseball.” Man: ‟That's nice.” Boy: ‟Want to buy it?” Man: ‟No, thanks.” Boy: ‟That's my dad outside.” Man: ‟How much did you say the baseball was again?” Boy: ‟$250.”
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover are in the closet together.
Boy: ‟Dark in here.” Man: ‟Yes, it is..” Boy: ‟I have a baseball glove.” Man: ‟That's nice.” Boy: ‟Want to buy it?” Man: ‟No, thanks.” Boy: ‟I think I just remembered something I needed to tell my dad.” Man: ‟How much did you say the glove was again?” Boy: ‟$750.” Man: ‟Fine.”
A few days later, the father says to the boy, ‟Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball!” The boy says, ‟I can't. I sold them.” The father asks, ‟How much did you sell them for?” The son says, ‟$1,000.” The father says, ‟It's terrible to over-charge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess.”
They go to church and the father alerts the priest and makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door.
The boy says, ‟Dark in here.” The priest says, ‟Do not start that shit again
Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin."
Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades and they will stop."
My mom interrupted my gaming session to tell me to hang up the lights I hung something else instead
NEWS: A man kidnamed a 13 year old girl MOM OF GIRL: The man had a shady face and a receeding hairline
Christopher's Mom said, "One man's trash is another man's treasure."
Turns out Christopher was adopted.
You look like your mom and your dad had a child
I told my dad that I wanted to go to a college with a 100% acceptance rate and a 50% Graduation rate and he said "Your mom doesn't count as a college"
Emergency is their doctor anywhere ? My mom has a few problems & those problems is that my mom has big tits, fat ass & sweet pussy that needs attention. Help anyone.
Fat jokes and mom jokes😂
1 So fat when she sat on the toilet she said a b c d e f g get your fat ass off me.
2 So fat your dad her were in bed and tried to kiss he’d have to slap her belly and ride the third wave up.
3 Yo mama so fat that when she went to Japan in a green bikini they all started yelling Godzilla Godzilla.
4 your mama’s so fat when she went bungee jumping she broke the bridge!
5 bill was so fat when he stepped in the scale it said to be continued.
6 yo mamma so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller.
A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis, her mom said you should have asked me last night it was at the tip of my tongue.
Dear NASA: Your mom thought I was big enough.–Pluto
My mom smashed my x-box so I smashed her daughter.😏
I told my mom I'm happy and she said: "I didn't know you were gay."
Your mom is so fat that she cannot look her feet when taking a shower
Your mom is so fat that she only knew 3 letters which is K F C
Your mom is so fat that she thought Eminem is a candy
