Mom jokes
Ur mom so stupid that she thought that Seventeen has four ghost members.
As a straight son, one day I asked my mom, "Have you ever quit something that you did before?" My mom said, "No, I never quit anything." So I asked my when you give a blow job you ever spit, then my mom said, "What did I say? Quitters are for spitters."
The only thing drier than these jokes is your mom.
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My dad never came back with the milk. My mom told me he's in the army.
My mom has a toy that I see all the girls and guys seem to play with, and the toy is between my mom's legs.
What do alien moms like to drink? Starbucks.
How do crabs honor their mom’s birthday? The shell-abrate.
What do you call a mom that can’t draw? Tracy.
What did mommy spider say to baby spider?
You spend too much time on the web.
Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom? Because she left the phone off the hook!
My mom told me a joke about boxing.
I guess I missed the punch line.
Note to all moms of teens, keep a dog. That way, someone is excited to see you!
My mom was cooking dinner and asked me if I could get her a cutting board.
"No, I need you to take off your shirt and lay on the island so I can cut some chicken."
Why did the cookie cry?
Because its mom was a wafer too long!
"I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older, and she laughed so hard she cried a little."
What do moms want for Mother's Day? Replacement silverware.
Nothing is lost until Mom can't find it.
It's sad when you sit around waiting for mom to make dinner, and then you realize you are the mom.
Being a mom to a teenager will make you understand why some animals eat their young.