Misunderstanding Jokes

Why did the Polish urologist cut his cock off with a knife?

To take care of his erectile dysfunction.

I was walking today and I saw an emo with a noose looking up at a tree. I simply said, "Hang on there, bud!"

When the school shooter pulls the fire alarm, and the autistic kid thinks it’s a rave party.

Teacher: Where were you born?

Student: The highway.

Teacher: What do you mean?

Student: I don't know, my mom says that's where all the accidents happen.

Yo mama is so dumb, she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.

The image is a split-screen. The top half shows an animated family in a boat. The mother is at the front, looking distressed, a daughter with arms crossed is sitting in the middle, and a son is at the back, grinning. The bottom half is a still of a man with a mustache, raising a hand as if saying "Stop!", with the caption "Son motorboats, mom while daughter rides her." The man is in an office environment.

Be careful what you say around Indians, the red dot means they're recording.

A boy walks in on his parents having sex. "What are you doing to my mother?!" the boy screams at his father, and runs out of the room.

Soon, the parents hear screams coming from the father's mother's room. They both go running. They see the little boy pumping into his grandmother like anything. "What are you doing to my mother?!" the father screams. "It's not so easy when it's your mother is it?" says the boy.

Little Johnny tried phone sex, but the holes were too small.

Did anyone get my joke? It probably flew over your heads, oops I meant through.

My friend says to me: "What rhymes with orange?" I said: "No it doesn't."

Yo mama so dumb, she thought a quarterback was a refund.

The teacher asked her student to say the alphabet. The student recited the alphabet: "abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz". "Where's the p?" He looked down to the floor and said: "it's running down my legs".

So I went to my friend's funeral today. As we were all leaving, a kid put a "get well soon" card next to my friend's grave. 'Poor kid'.

The dyslexic devil worshipper sold his soul to Santa.

Patient to doctor: "Will I be ok, Doc?"

Doctor: "I doubt it. Mercury is in Uranus now."

Patient: "I don't do that astrology stuff."

Doctor: "Nor me. My thermometer just broke."

What did the Mexican man say when his house fell on him?

"Get off me homes."

One day I came to my mom and said, "MOM!!! I can make a butterfly!"

Mom: "No you can't..."

Me: *throws butter out the window* Me: "Look I made a butterfly!"

lol this isn't funny but I hope you liked it.

An Asian man goes to the eye doctor.

The doctor says, "It looks like you have a cataract."

The Asian guy says, "No Doc, I drive a Rincoln."

I'm so mad I got arrested for rape, even though the girl never said no. The prosecution said she was mute, but how was I supposed to know? She never told me.