When the school shooter pulls the fire alarm, and the autistic kid thinks it’s a rave party.
Yo mama is so dumb, she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
Be careful what you say around Indians, the red dot means they're recording.
Woman: "I want coffee, black."
Cop: *takes out gun* "WHERE?!"
My friend and I were joking about a kid in a wheelchair, and another kid came up and said to the wheelchair kid, "You should stand up for yourself."
I was walking today and I saw an emo with a noose looking up at a tree. I simply said, "Hang on there, bud!"
Why did the Polish urologist cut his cock off with a knife?
To take care of his erectile dysfunction.
Little Johnny tried phone sex, but the holes were too small.
Did anyone get my joke? It probably flew over your heads, oops I meant through.
My friend says to me: "What rhymes with orange?" I said: "No it doesn't."
Yo mama so dumb, she thought a quarterback was a refund.
The teacher asked her student to say the alphabet. The student recited the alphabet: "abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz". "Where's the p?" He looked down to the floor and said: "it's running down my legs".
So I went to my friend's funeral today. As we were all leaving, a kid put a "get well soon" card next to my friend's grave. 'Poor kid'.
At baseball practice...
"Hey John, did you bring the bucket of balls?"
"No, but I got two right here."
The dyslexic devil worshipper sold his soul to Santa.
Patient to doctor: "Will I be ok, Doc?"
Doctor: "I doubt it. Mercury is in Uranus now."
Patient: "I don't do that astrology stuff."
Doctor: "Nor me. My thermometer just broke."
What did the Mexican man say when his house fell on him?
"Get off me homes."
One day I came to my mom and said, "MOM!!! I can make a butterfly!"
Mom: "No you can't..."
Me: *throws butter out the window* Me: "Look I made a butterfly!"
lol this isn't funny but I hope you liked it.
An Asian man goes to the eye doctor.
The doctor says, "It looks like you have a cataract."
The Asian guy says, "No Doc, I drive a Rincoln."
I'm so mad I got arrested for rape, even though the girl never said no. The prosecution said she was mute, but how was I supposed to know? She never told me.
