Miscellaneous jokes
Me and my friends were telling puns. My teacher said we should be “pun-ished.”
When someone pops up in your life making you all happy, you be like, "Who sent you?"
People: Stop joking about such serious issues!
Me: Kill yourself.
I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took a dick in the ass.
My brother truly is a numbskull.
Someone burgled my house the other day. It was terrible.
They ripped all of the front and back pages of my dictionaries. Things went from bad to worse.
Why did the scarecrow get promoted?
He was outstanding in his field!
I can see your cameltoe, you nasty thot!
Why couldn't the bicycle stand? It was two tired...
What games do you play if you are bored?
Board games.
What do you call mo on a dating website? Tissue face.
Why did the Mafia cross the road?
Forget about it...
My dog got stuck in my ass, help!
When do you go at stop and stop when done?
I don't know, I'm not a pedophile.
What do you call a dog wearing a beret?
Smeargle!
Beans, beans, beans. Say what? Say beans, beans, beans.
Son: Hey dad, why is my name Canada?
Dad: Because you were made there.
Mum: We haven't been to Canada.
Dad: Hol' up a minute.
Why was the bus sleeping? Because it was too tired.
After all these walkers, you still walk over me.
Q: Why can't you run through a campground?
A: You can only ran, because it's past tents!