Miscellaneous jokes
Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream?
Because he was dead.
"Brandon, tell the teacher that I'm with Ms. Polack."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Esteban.
Esteban who?
If you do not open the door, Esteban you!
priyanka
What is the difference between lettuce and a hamburger?
When the lettuce runs, the hamburger cries.
My dad.
A gay couple actually goes to heaven. Turns out Jesus was a hypocrite.
Have you ever wondered how your teachers would look if they were 20 years younger than they actually are? I bet some of them would be smoking hot. Especially my 25-year-old English teacher. I'd bang her if she were 20 years younger.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
A retard walks into a bar.
Bartender: Hey, retard retard retard retard retard retard retard retard retard retard retard!
Thank you for listening to joke, sincerely - Jokeman87848584
I accidentally walked on the Lego Batman mask.
I want my fucking feet back!
My friend Joe was a great hunter. He always shot like 3 deer every week.
He was even better at school when he bagged 30 of them.
What's the best thing about f***ing twenty-six year olds?
There's twenty of them.
What's the difference between cars and grass?
They both have wheels, except for the grass.
I like my woman like I like my wine, 12 years old and locked in the basement.
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
"P,u!"
"P,u who?"
"P,u, you smell like shit!"
What do you call an owl that does magic?
Hooodini.
What do you say when you see an apple dancing in a talent show?
He's got some "sweet" moves!
Why was 6 scared of 7?
Answer: Because 7 8 9.
Add me on Snapchat for streaks: Loganlytton.