Miscellaneous jokes
Why are smurfs blue?
Because they get bruises all the time.
SOMEBODY TOUCHA MY SPAGHET!
Why did the Duck go to rehab?
Because he was a Quackhead.
What is the difference between lettuce and a hamburger?
When the lettuce runs, the hamburger cries.
My dad.
Have you ever wondered how your teachers would look if they were 20 years younger than they actually are? I bet some of them would be smoking hot. Especially my 25-year-old English teacher. I'd bang her if she were 20 years younger.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
A retard walks into a bar.
Bartender: Hey, retard retard retard retard retard retard retard retard retard retard retard!
Thank you for listening to joke, sincerely - Jokeman87848584
I accidentally walked on the Lego Batman mask.
I want my fucking feet back!
My friend Joe was a great hunter. He always shot like 3 deer every week.
He was even better at school when he bagged 30 of them.
What do you do when your dishwasher breaks down?
You punch her in the face and remind her of her duties.
eeeeeee.
I like my woman like I like my wine, 12 years old and locked in the basement.
What do you call an owl that does magic?
Hooodini.
People so dumb they think they're "transblind" like WTF, idiots!
Your mom gay, Evan.
Mom hot.
What's the difference between cars and grass?
They both have wheels, except for the grass.
Everyone dislike this.
Two tourists climb a mountain that utters certain doom.
One tourist falls down. The tourist that's still on the mountain says, "You ok down there?"
The other tourist says, "Can't I just rest in peace?!"
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
"P,u!"
"P,u who?"
"P,u, you smell like shit!"