Miscellaneous jokes
"Brandon, tell the teacher that I'm with Ms. Polack."
Hi.
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Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream?
Because he was dead.
What’s the difference between a boomerang and my dad?
Only the boomerang came back. It’s been 14 years, where’s my dad?
What is the difference between lettuce and a hamburger?
When the lettuce runs, the hamburger cries.
My dad.
Have you ever wondered how your teachers would look if they were 20 years younger than they actually are? I bet some of them would be smoking hot. Especially my 25-year-old English teacher. I'd bang her if she were 20 years younger.
A gay couple actually goes to heaven. Turns out Jesus was a hypocrite.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
A retard walks into a bar.
Bartender: Hey, retard retard retard retard retard retard retard retard retard retard retard!
Thank you for listening to joke, sincerely - Jokeman87848584
I accidentally walked on the Lego Batman mask.
I want my fucking feet back!
My friend Joe was a great hunter. He always shot like 3 deer every week.
He was even better at school when he bagged 30 of them.
Add me on Snapchat for streaks: Loganlytton.
What do you say when you see an apple dancing in a talent show?
He's got some "sweet" moves!
What do you call an owl that does magic?
Hooodini.
I like my woman like I like my wine, 12 years old and locked in the basement.
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
"P,u!"
"P,u who?"
"P,u, you smell like shit!"
Two tourists climb a mountain that utters certain doom.
One tourist falls down. The tourist that's still on the mountain says, "You ok down there?"
The other tourist says, "Can't I just rest in peace?!"
People so dumb they think they're "transblind" like WTF, idiots!
Why was 6 scared of 7?
Answer: Because 7 8 9.