Miscellaneous jokes
What's the difference between a square peg in a round hole and a kilo of lard?
One's a good lot of fat; the other's a fat lot of good.
Q: How did we learn cats don't land on their feet?
A: We asked Mufasa from the Lion King.
How many times does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Tentacles!
What do you do when your dishwasher breaks down?
You punch her in the face and remind her of her duties.
She saw me butt-naked, now she thinks I'm half Black.
You're so poor you stink like poo-poo in your doo-doo.
I hate this website. It's retarded and 4chan is better.
At night I became a mattress murderer.
Why did Bob Ross die?
Because the paint brush stabbed him.
Why did everyone quit the high school volleyball team? To join Coach Kyle's team, of course!
This one time I said to a person that they are dry, then I was wet (ba dum tiss).
My bully said I have to shut up. I said, "Shut down" (ba dum tiss).
Your life.
How do crazy people get through a forest?
They take the psycho-path!
I don't have a joke about Christianity.
I don't want to get crucified.
Have you heard of the restaurant Karma?
There is no menu because you only get what you deserve.
I’m working on a good pun, but it makes no one laugh.
Why?
I don’t have a clue.
Why are graveyards so noisy?
Because of all the coffin!
Your life.
Follow me on Instagram @v2good.at.fortnite and @v2good.at.edits for a surprise.
Btw, you have to like all my posts :)
A mom says to her son: "Hey, can you wave to that deaf kid over there?"
The son: "I don't know, can I?"
The mom: "May you?"
The son: "No, I don't have any arms!"