Miscellaneous

Miscellaneous jokes

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Three people explored the jungles, one was from France, one from Britain, and the other from America.

While exploring, they were captured by the tribe living there. The tribesmen told the three, "You three have invaded our territory, so we must kill you and use your bodies to create canoes. However, we aren't that heartless, so we'll let you choose your deaths."

So the French guy asked for a gun, pointed to his head, and said "Viva la France!" and shot himself. The Britain guy requested poison and said, "For the Queen!" and drank the poison. Lastly, the American asked for a spoon. The tribesmen were confused but still gave him the spoon. When the American got the spoon, he started stabbing himself, "Try make a canoe out of this one!"

  • 7

    • Knock knock.

    Who's there?

    Theodore.

    Theodore who?

    Theodore is locked, that is why I knocked.

    Knock knock.

    Who's there?

    Por que.

    Por que who?

    "That's all, folks," in the words of Por que Pig.

    Knock, knock.

    Who's there?

    Esteban.

    Esteban who?

    If you do not open the door, Esteban you!

    Why do Pirates say "Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"?

    First time out at sea, they prepare for battle and say to their commander:

    "The canons be ready, Captain!"

    "Are," says the Captain (correcting their grammar).

    "Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!" they all exclaimed!

    If a person walks off a hundred-foot cliff and halfway down screams, "Why did I do that?" Then a second person walks off the same one-hundred-foot cliff and screams the same verse, "Why did I do that?" Then another person walks off the cliff and screams the same line, "Why did I do that," and the next person does the same thing. What do you call that?

    (Stupid People)

    Paddy's beautiful wife has not had an orgasm for the 15 years they have been married.

    The doctor suggests that she may be overheating during sex, and a cool breeze may help.

    Being a bit of a cheapo, he decides not to buy a fan but asks his friend Mick to waft a towel over them during the act.

    After half an hour, still no sign of success, so his mate suggests swapping places. "I'll have a try, Paddy, you waft the towel."

    Paddy agrees, and after two or three minutes, Paddy's wife has a moment of sexual pleasure, screaming in ecstasy for the first time in 15 years.

    Paddy taps his mate Mick on the shoulder and says, "And that, Mick, is how you waft a bloody towel!"

  • 0

    • Two TV antennas got married. The church ceremony was terrible, but the reception was fantastic!

    A guy walks into a gun store and everything is half off. He looks at his son and says, "I didn't know back to school sales started yet."