Miscellaneous jokes
Why did Stephen Hawking cross the road?
Oh wait, he didn't.
From the wise words of my friend, "You ain't a man 'til you had a man."
Why is my pee pee 2 inches in length but 5 in girth?
If a sped is late for class, is it wrong to call them tardy?
There's four people on a roof: a Mexican, an Asian, a black guy, and a white guy. The Mexican walks over to the ledge and says, "This is for my people," and jumps off. The Asian also walks over to the ledge and says, "This is for my people," and jumps off. Then, the black guy walks over to the edge and says, "This is for my people," and pushes the white guy off.
What's the difference between a noodle and a scaboodle fladooodle?
The teacher asked, "Why are you in school on a Saturday?"
I told her my mum told me to go to hell.
What type of comedy can't Steven Hawking do?
Stand-up comedy.
What do you call an owl that does magic?
Hooodini.
Who is the biggest slut in the world? Ms. Pacman, because you give her 25 cents and she swallows balls until she dies.
Three gay guys walk into a bar.
There is only one stool left, what do they do?
They flip the stool over.
Why couldn't the clown walk after his infamous knife-juggling act?
Because he was exhausted nigaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
What's worse than funny condom fails?
Jake Paul.
What did the diver say when he was trapped in seaweed?
- Kelp!
Sally fell off the swing. How did she fall off?
She had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
WTF is wrong with you guys? This is bullying. Stop it, please, but Shaenaya sounds like a good name.
SHAENAYA WANTS TO SUCK EVERYBOYS DICK BESIDES MINE CAUSE SHE A THIRSTY HOE.
Shaenaya hates me, help! And she wants to suck off ******* and ****** and ***** and *****.
Yeet.
Wanna hear a joooooooke?
Your life.