I couldn’t understand why the baseball was getting bigger and bigger.
Then it hit me.
what did the chicken say when he crossed the road
quack!
Mary Poppins went to a restaurant and ordered cheese, eggs, and cauliflower. When she left, she had written something in the complaint box: "Super cauliflower, eggs, but cheese was quite atrocious." (Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious)
My life, haha so funny
It’s not rape if she’s a dead bear and I lost my job at the circus.
What do you call a skeleton who went out in the snow? A numb skull!
wanna hear the car joke. nah it's to fast for you.
Wanna hear a plane joke? Nah, it'll just go over your head.
Wanna hear a construction joke?
Nah, I'm still working on it.
fuck nugget
Why did the stoner cross the road?
He got so wasted, he thought he was a chicken.
What would you call a person who hides in a house for 24 hours and then kills them?
Morgz.
Whoever killed Adolf Hitler is MY hero!
I am really gay. I just needed to confess this.
What do people that can only use half their face and wankers have in common?
They have both had a few strokes.
I wish my lawn was emo, because then it would cut itself.
Someone asked me what the worst mistake you could make while being at work was, and I replied, "Being a doctor and mixing up the oral and rectal thermometers."
You want a joke? My entire existence.
abcdef ghijklmnop qrstuv
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Your mom.
Your mom who?
O shit, my mom's home! Honey, get the f*** out of my house!
