Miscellaneous jokes
What do you call it when you see Chinese people in a gang?
The "Ching Chang Gang."
An 80-year-old blind man asks his grandson, "Can you grab my glasses?"
Then the grandson says, "Did you get in the flour again?"
Grandpa said, "No, it was the weed."
Q: Why did the Queer get fired from the sperm bank?
A: He got caught drinking on the job.
Hogwarts is making a new condom. It's called "fetus deletus."
Gun control...
Just watched an upsetting video. Please retweet. #Stop The Make-A-Wish Foundation.
What is black and white and red all over?
A newspaper.
priyanka
I can't remember the last full conversation I had with my grandfather.
Good thing is, since he hit his head, he can't remember either.
“What happens to an Asian man when he runs into a brick wall with an erection?”
“A broken nose.”
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiot's house.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
What do you call a dick playing badminton?
A shuttlecock.
Wanna hear a joke?
Yeah.
...
What's the joke?
I said it already!
Stroke victims are my heroes.
My favorite is Louis C.K.
Three Jewish people walk into a bar.
A blond-haired girl, a brown-haired girl, and a ginger-haired girl were out walking when they came across some tracks.
The brown-haired girl looked at them and said, "I think they are elephant tracks."
Then the ginger-haired girl looked at the tracks and said, "No way, they are definitely duck tracks."
Finally, the blond-haired girl bent down to examine the tracks when she got hit by the train.
You're so fat, astronomers discovered a planet larger than Earth but smaller than Uranus.
How do you circumcise a redneck? Kick his sister in the jaw.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? Matt.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? Bob.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel.
Our family is known for unusually sloppy diarrhea.
It runs in our jeans.