Miscellaneous jokes
Velcro is such a rip-off.
Why did Shelley fall off the swing? She had no arms.
Not many people know this, but Soulja Boy was the lead role in a very successful children's movie a while ago. Released to theaters nationwide in 2006 was Honey, I Crunked the Kids.
Why did half of the world go to hell?
Because they were laughing at morbid jokes.
(You've been warned!)
What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
There are two muffins baking in the oven. One muffin says to the other, “Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?”
The other muffin says, “AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!”
"Brandon, tell the teacher that I'm with Ms. Polack."
Six out of seven dwarfs aren’t Happy.
I saw a sign that said, "Falling Rocks." I tried it, and it doesn't.
Year 10 English.
Anyone who makes fun of Prof should go to hell.
Bank owner: If you want to start a bank account, I need your name.
Guy: Robin
Bank owner: Your last name?
Guy: Debank
Bank owner: Robin Debank?
Guy: Put your hands up and give me all the money!
What does a tuna, piano, and a tub of glue have in common?
You can tune a piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
But what about the glue? said Bob I. I knew you would get stuck on that!
If two people who have the clap sleep together, did they make an applause?
Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle.
What's the difference between cars and grass?
They both have wheels, except for the grass.
What did the emo say before he crossed the road?
"Fuck my life."
What is the difference between an emo and a normal person?
An emo slits.
When you see an "Autistic child zone" sign and say, "Oh! That wasn't a dog."
There was a dino at the library today.
It was reading a thesaurus.