Yo mom so stupid it takes her an hour to cook minute rice.
minutes (DYM 124)
Dad: "I'll be back in a minute."
20 years later
Orphan: "Dad?"
Sorry to take your time today for a few minutes. We are cool, but not the best.
So my sis thinks she's so smart. She said, "You can finish this move ten minutes later. Go to sleep."
Stranger: Tries to kidnap a kid.
Kid: Runs home.
A few minutes later, the kid was in the back of the van...
If you know, you know.
Did you just fart a minute ago in the dumpster? I can tell you probably had a mud burrito for breakfast.
My girl asked me if I had seen a gorilla anywhere. I told her yes, I did see one a minute ago at the Central Park Zoo. He said if you don't behave, he will take you back to the jungle and have your ass abandoned for good.
Yo momma's so stupid, she took a shower for 20 minutes after she heard a DIRTY JOKE!
This city slicker broke down on a country road. He looked around, and in the distance, he spotted a farm house. When he finally got there, he asked the farmer if he had a phone he could use because his had no reception.
The farmer told him he could use it if he married his daughter. The guy said he really didn’t wanna get married, and the farmer said, "If you marry my daughter, I’ll give you half my farm..." The guy said, "Lemme see her..." The farmer hollered, “Hey you, get over here...” and she said, “Duh, ok.” The ol' boy looked at her and said, "Nooo thank you."
The father said, “I’ll give you all my farm and my bank account if you’ll marry my daughter....” The ol' boy thought for a minute and said, “Well I guess I can put a sack over her head.” So they married and the farmer kept his word and gave him everything.
One day the guy was up fixin' the roof and hollered, “Hey you, get me some nails...” His wife said, “Duh, nails, nails?” He said, “Yes, nails,” and showed her one. She said, “Oh, duh, nails, nails.” He said, “Yes, nails.” So she got him some. He was hammering away when he hit his thumb, and he yells, “Oh F*** it!” and she turned and hollered, “Duh, a sack, a sack, duh, a sack!”
Doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom
Doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom
Doin' doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom
You know we straight with doin' your mom
Doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom
Doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom
Doin' doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom
You know we straight with doin' your mom
I’m doin' your mom. Yes yours!
I first saw her in the Wal-Mart pickin' out your drawers.
Big Dolly Parton hair like an 80s prom queen
But her ass was lookin' good all up in those mom-jeans.
I approached her in the checkout line, and said yo baby wassup?
She had two gallons of milk, and I was starin' at her jugs.
Five minutes later she agreed to get with me
So we went and rocked the minivan like Giggity. Giggity. Giggity.
I was ridin' your mom like she was Mario Kart.
I gave her a lift back to her crib cause her car wouldn’t start.
She invited me in the house, and we started makin' out again.
How many times I tap that ass? OVER 9000!
Yeah. She called me Pledge cause I knocked the dust off it.
She later made me a sandwich and she cut the crust off it.
Cause she knows how I like it, and that I’m a little young
To be in the bed, butt-naked doin' your mom.
Doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom
Doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom
Doin' doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom
You know we straight with doin' your mom
A man told his love interest she looked beautiful.
And then his love interest told him she had loads of things to tell him.
And after 3 minutes, she told him he looked fat, ugly, disgusting, creepy, and tiny.
Then the police came and arrested her for saying that.
In Africa a koala and a kangaroo were very thirsty the kangaroo said that when they have no water they dig a hole and water comes out of it then the kangaroo digged and in 1 minute the koala said that is there any watering there now and the kangaroo said no and the koala had to wait for so many minutes and soon water came out of the the hole and then the koala jumped into the hole and drank water and the kangaroo wanted water too so he tried to pull out the koala but instead his tail got chopped off and then they never became friends again
I went into a CS:Go lobby and all I heard for ten minutes straight was, "Act like you're hard, but your dad beat you harder."
A boy asked his dad: "Why didn’t you make love with my mom, Daddy?"
Dad: "Because I’m gay."
*Son started making out with his daddy and sucking his daddy’s big peepee.*
Son: "W- Wait a minute. So how did I exist if you didn’t make love with my mom if you’re not straight?"
Dad: "Because you are not real, and I didn’t even have a wife."
The son woke up from his horrible nightmare, and he looked so scared. He did leave his bed to check out his dad, but he didn’t find his dad, until his dad entered the house, and he said to his son: "Why did you look so worried? I’m just bringing some food for breakfast."
Son: "Well, but why are your hands full of cum ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ?"
Dad: "Because I did it with you last night. Did you forget?"
Son: "But it was a nightmare..."
*Dad turns into a monster*
Dad: "I’m your nightmare!"
The son woke up, and he seemed too scared, and he found himself beside his dad torturing him after he discovered he’s gay.
The son with himself: "Wake up, b*tch, wake up, b*tch!!!!!!"
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? "I want you inside me."
"Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.
Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals.
They say that during sex you burn off as many calories as running eight miles. Who the hell runs eight miles in 30 seconds?
Why do walruses love a Tupperware party? They're always on the lookout for a tight seal.
I'll admit it, I have a tremendous sex drive. My girlfriend lives 40 miles away.
Who's the most popular guy at the nudist colony? The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.
What is the first thing a man puts in a woman when they get married? The wedding ring.
What's the difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird.
"I bet you can't tell me something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time," a husband says to his wife. She thinks about it for a moment and then responds, "Your penis is bigger than your brother's."
A woman walks out of the shower, winks at her boyfriend, and says, "Honey, I shaved myself down there. Do you know what that means?" The boyfriend says, "Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again."
How do you make a pool table laugh? Tickle its balls.
If you were born in September, it's pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.
A naked man broke into a church. The police chased him around and finally caught him by the organ.
What do tofu and dildos have in common? They are both meat substitutes.
Did you hear about the constipated accountant? He couldn't budget, so he had to work it out with a paper and pencil.
What does a perverted frog say? "Rubbit."
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A Lickalotopus.
How is playing bridge similar to sex? If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.
An old woman walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room." "You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied. "Now you have to remove them."
Why does a mermaid wear seashells? Because she outgrew her B-shells.
What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip-off.
Let's play carpenter! First, we'll get hammered, then I'll nail you.
What do you do when your cat's dead? Play with the neighbor's pussy instead.
How is life like toilet paper? You're either on a roll or taking s*** from someone.
What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One's a Goodyear. The other's a great year.
What is Moby Dick's dad's name? Papa Boner.
What do you call someone who refuses to fart in public? A private tutor.
What do you call a herd of cows masturbating? Beef strokin' off.
What did the leper say to the sex worker? "Keep the tip."
What do you call the lesbian version of a cock block? A beaver dam.
What do a penis and a Rubik's Cube have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
What's long, green, and smells like bacon? Kermit the Frog's fingers.
What do you get when you jingle Santa's balls? A white Christmas.
Why is diarrhea hereditary? It runs in your genes.
A penguin takes his car to the shop and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it. While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. The penguin isn't the cleanest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. When he returns to the shop, the mechanic takes one look at him and says, "Looks like you blew a seal." "No," the penguin insists, "it's just ice cream."
What did one butt cheek say to the other? "Together, we can stop this crap."
A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!" The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"
What do you get when you cross a dick with a potato? A dictator.
A man with a gun and a sword walks into a bar, sees a girl, and falls in love with her.
Man: "Hey, you are one beautiful girl. Will you be my girlfriend?"
Girl: "No, because you have a gun and a sword."
Man: "But I am already in love with you."
And then the man leaves to get the girl flowers and candy.
The girl is glad that he has gone, until thirty minutes later, when he shows up again.
Man: "Here are some flowers for you, beautiful girl."
And the girl throws the flowers in his face, and then everyone in the bar laughs, even the bartender.
Man: "And here is some candy."
And the girl throws the candy in his face, and everyone in the bar laughs again, and some teenagers walking down the street see it as well, and then they start laughing too.
One of the teenagers says "Hahaha, that is so funny. Seeing a man give a girl candy, and the girl throwing it in his face to show him that she hates him."
Girl: "I hate you, ugly man!"
Man: "Bartender, can I get some candy for my girl?"
The bartender laughs when he hears that, and then he says "Are you crazy? We don't serve-"
And then the man shoots the bartender with his gun and stabs him with his sword. An old man walking down the street can't believe what he just saw, so he calls the police to arrest the man who killed the bartender.
999 Service Guy: "999, what's your emergency?"
Old man: "I just walked past a bar, and I saw a man shoot and stab the bartender. Can you please get the police to arrest him? Tell them he is the man with a gun and a sword in his bag."
999 Service Guy: "Okay, no worries."
1 Hour later, the first man tries to dance the tango with the girl, and the girl kicks him in the leg, and then he tries to kiss her, and she punches him in the face.
Guy sitting at a table in the bar: "That man is crazy. Trying to kiss a girl who hates him."
And the police show up.
First Policeman: "Which man has a gun and a sword in his bag?"
The girl points to the man and says "This man."
Second Policeman: "Let's arrest him."
Man: "No, wait! I can explain."
Third Policeman: "Get in the back of the car."
When the police get to the Police Station with the man, the first policeman says "You will stay in prison for 10 years."
One week later, the man breaks the bars and escapes prison.
The police see him and run after him.
Third Policeman: "Come back here!"
The man doesn't listen, and he keeps running, so the police shoot him and he dies.
And instead of saying rest in peace on his gravestone, it says rest in pieces.
A politician dies. So a politician dies and ends up standing in front of the pearly gates. Saint Peter looks at him for a second, flicks through his book, and finds his name.
"So, you're a politician..." "Well, yes, is that a problem?" "Oh no, no problem. But we've recently adopted a new system for people in your line of work, and unfortunately, you will have to spend a day in Hell. After that, however, you're free to choose where you want to spend eternity!"
"Wait, I have to spend a day in Hell??" says the politician. "Them's the rules," says St Peter, clicks his fingers, and WOOMPH, the guy disappears...
And awakes, curled up with his hands over his eyes, knowing he's in Hell. Cautiously, he listens for the screams, sniffs the air for brimstone, and finds... Nothing. Just the smell of, is that fabric softener? And cut grass, this can't be, right?
"Open your eyes!" says a voice. "C'mon, wakey, we've only got 24 hours!". Nervously, he uncovers his eyes, looks around, and sees he's in a hotel room. A nice one too. Wait, this is a penthouse suite... And there's a smiling man in a suit, holding a martini. "Who are you??" The politician asks. "Well, I'm Satan!" says the man, handing him the drink and helping him to his feet. "Welcome to Hell!" "Wait, this is Hell? But... Where are all the pain and suffering?" he asks. Satan throws him a wink. "Oh, we've been a bit misrepresented over the years, it's a long story. Anyway, this is your room! The minibar is, of course, free, as is the room service, there are extra towels next to the hot tub, and if you need anything, just call reception. But enough of this! It's a beautiful day, and if you'd care to look outside..." Slightly stunned by the opulent surroundings, the man wanders over to the floor-to-ceiling windows through which the sun is glowing, looks far down, and sees a group of people cheering and waving at him from a golf course. "It's one of 5 pro-level courses on-site, and there's another 6 just a few minutes drive out past the beach and harbor!" says Satan, answering his unasked question. So they head down in the lift and walk out through the glittering lobby where everyone waves and welcomes the man, as Satan signs autographs and cheerily talks shop with the laughing staff. And as he walks out, he sees the group on the golf course is made up of every one of his old friends, people he's admired for years but never met or worked with, and people whose work he's admired but died long before his career started. And out of the middle of this group walks his wife, with a massive smile and the body she had when she was 20, who throws her arms around him and plants a delicate kiss on his cheek. Everyone cheers and applauds, and as they slap him on the back and trade jokes, his worst enemy arrives, as a 2-foot-tall goblin-esque caddy. He spends the day in the bright sunshine on the course, having the time of his life laughing at jokes and carrying on important discussions, putting the world to rights with his friends while holding his delighted wife next to him as she gazes lovingly at him. Later, they return to the hotel for dinner and have an enormous meal, perfectly cooked, which descends into a food fight when someone accidentally throws a bread roll at the next table (where Gandhi is having a game of truth-or-dare with Marylin Monroe). As everyone is falling about laughing and flinging breadsticks at each other, his wife whispers in his ear... And they return to their penthouse suite and spend the rest of the night making love as they did on their honeymoon. After 6 hours of intense passion, the man falls deep into the 100% Egyptian cotton pillows and falls into a deep and happy sleep...
And is woken up by St Peter. "So, that was Hell. Wasn't what you were expecting, I bet?" "No sir!" says the man. "So then," says St Peter "you can make your choice. It's Hell, which you saw, or Heaven, which has choral singing, talking to God, white robes, and so on". "Well... I know this sounds strange, but on balance, I think I'd prefer Hell," says the politician. "Not a problem, we totally understand! Enjoy!" Says St Peter, and clicks his fingers again.
The man wakes up in total darkness, the stench of ammonia filling the air and distant screams the only noise. As he adjusts, he can see the only light is from belches of flame far away, illuminating the ragged remains of people being tortured or burning in a sulfurous ocean. A sudden bolt of lightning reveals Satan next to him, wearing the same suit as before and grinning, holding a soldering iron in one hand and a coil of razor wire in the other. "What's this??" He cries. "Where's the hotel?? Where's my wife??? Where's the minibar, the golf courses, the pool, the restaurant, the free drinks, and the sunshine???"
"Ah", says Satan. "You see, yesterday, we were campaigning. But today, you voted..."
There's a man crawling through the desert. He'd decided to try his SUV in a little bit of cross-country travel, had great fun zooming over the badlands and through the sand, got lost, hit a big rock, and then he couldn't get it started again. There were no cell phone towers anywhere near, so his cell phone was useless. He had no family, his parents had died a few years before in an auto accident, and his few friends had no idea he was out here. He stayed with the car for a day or so, but his one bottle of water ran out and he was getting thirsty. He thought maybe he knew the direction back, now that he'd paid attention to the sun and thought he'd figured out which way was north, so he decided to start walking. He figured he only had to go about 30 miles or so and he'd be back to the small town he'd gotten gas in last. He thinks about walking at night to avoid the heat and sun, but based upon how dark it actually was the night before, and given that he has no flashlight, he's afraid that he'll break a leg or step on a rattlesnake. So, he puts on some sun block, puts the rest in his pocket for reapplication later, brings an umbrella he'd had in the back of the SUV with him to give him a little shade, pours the windshield wiper fluid into his water bottle in case he gets that desperate, brings his pocket knife in case he finds a cactus that looks like it might have water in it, and heads out in the direction he thinks is right. He walks for the entire day. By the end of the day he's really thirsty. He's been sweating all day, and his lips are starting to crack. He's reapplied the sunblock twice, and tried to stay under the umbrella, but he still feels sunburned. The windshield wiper fluid sloshing in the bottle in his pocket is really getting tempting now. He knows that it's mainly water and some ethanol and coloring, but he also knows that they add some kind of poison to it to keep people from drinking it. He wonders what the poison is, and whether the poison would be worse than dying of thirst. He pushes on, trying to get to that small town before dark. By the end of the day he starts getting worried. He figures he's been walking at least 3 miles an hour, according to his watch for over 10 hours. That means that if his estimate was right that he should be close to the town. But he doesn't recognize any of this. He had to cross a dry creek bed a mile or two back, and he doesn't remember coming through it in the SUV. He figures that maybe he got his direction off just a little and that the dry creek bed was just off to one side of his path. He tells himself that he's close, and that after dark he'll start seeing the town lights over one of these hills, and that'll be all he needs. As it gets dim enough that he starts stumbling over small rocks and things, he finds a spot and sits down to wait for full dark and the town lights. Full dark comes before he knows it. He must have dozed off. He stands back up and turns all the way around. He sees nothing but stars. He wakes up the next morning feeling absolutely lousy. His eyes are gummy and his mouth and nose feel like they're full of sand. He so thirsty that he can't even swallow. He barely got any sleep because it was so cold. He'd forgotten how cold it got at night in the desert and hadn't noticed it the night before because he'd been in his car. He knows the Rule of Threes - three minutes without air, three days without water, three weeks without food - then you die. Some people can make it a little longer, in the best situations. But the desert heat and having to walk and sweat isn't the best situation to be without water. He figures, unless he finds water, this is his last day. He rinses his mouth out with a little of the windshield wiper fluid. He waits a while after spitting that little bit out, to see if his mouth goes numb, or he feels dizzy or something. Has his mouth gone numb? Is it just in his mind? He's not sure. He'll go a little farther, and if he still doesn't find water, he'll try drinking some of the fluid. Then he has to face his next, harder question - which way does he go from here? Does he keep walking the same way he was yesterday (assuming that he still knows which way that is), or does he try a new direction? He has no idea what to do. Looking at the hills and dunes around him, he thinks he knows the direction he was heading before. Just going by a feeling, he points himself somewhat to the left of that, and starts walking. As he walks, the day starts heating up. The desert, too cold just a couple of hours before, soon becomes an oven again. He sweats a little at first, and then stops. He starts getting worried at that - when you stop sweating he knows that means you're in trouble - usually right before heat stroke. He decides that it's time to try the windshield wiper fluid. He can't wait any longer - if he passes out, he's dead. He stops in the shade of a large rock, and takes the bottle. "BETTER NATE THAN LEVER!!!"
Peyton: Okay guys, no talking about dumb and stupid things that are not important.
Ysabella: No!!!
Peyton: Oh SHUT YOUR FACE THE HECK UP!
Navaya: That makes no sense.
Isaiah: I know, right.
Kenya: You don't tell us what to do, you control freak.
Ysabella: Shush.
Kenya: BLAH!
Peyton: Now we shall be watching some amazing things on YouTube. Subject: math. aka BORING!!!!
Andre: Say, how old are you?
Kenya: What?
Andre: I'm asking her how old she is.
Peyton: That's none of your beeswax.
Andre: Okay then.
9 hours later.
Peyton: Okay class, time for science!!!
Kenya: Okay, what are we doi...
Peyton: SHUSH!!!
Ysabella: Shush.
Peyton: We aren't doing anything but playing around with all this STUFF!!! heheheheehe.
Navaya: No, thanks.
Peyton: Yes, thanks!
Mariah: Why? Oh, for science.
Peyton: Shut your mouth and watch me do this science work!!!
10 hours later.
Peyton: What else?
Ysabella: Well we can play games since that's all we have!
Peyton: WHAT DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND BY SHUTING YOUR MOUTH UPPPP!?!?!?! HMMMMMMMM?
Ysabella: Sorry!
Peyton: Then act like it!
Kenya: Shush!
Peyton: Shush!
Andre: Shush. Shush!
Mariah: Andre?
Andre: Shush!
1 hour later.
Peyton: Well we have a lot of E.L.A. work to do.
Ysabella: Sweetie this is Math and Science class! Not the other classes. Peyton mocking Ysa: Sweetie this is Math and Science class. Not the other classes. I know things!
Andre: Then act like you know things.
Kenya: True.
Oliver: True that.
Peyton: SHUT IT!!!
Oliver: No! Geez.
2 hours later, clock time (7:00)
Peyton: Whooohooo we got our E L A done now time for- Ysabella: I'm going to stop you right there! We have been working all morning from 5:00 a.m. to this o'clock a.m.! Sooo KNOCK IT OFF!!
Andre: Yes, thank you Ysabella, you are now at the top of my friend list!
Ysabella: What? Whatever!
Peyton: Fine, go somewhere else and whine about it 'cause I idc!
Kingston: What does that mean, ohhhhhh.
Peyton: Idc.
Ysabe: IDC what does that mean?
Kingston: "I don't care".
3 hours has passed now and it turned to 8:00 a.m.
Peyton: What do guys want to do?
Ysabella: Play games.
Kingston: Draw!
Andre: Go home!
Peyton: Please. Well I'm picking so haha.
Kenya: Here it says that we can pick the things we want to do, it just can't be harmful or bad for us!
Oliver: Really it says that?
Kenya: Yeah, right here.
Oliver: Noice.
Peyton: Oh, go play!
Kenya: Good, byeeee!
Oliver: Peace!
1 hour later. Ysabella: Woohoo, okay yes. Kingston: What's going over there? Navaya: I don't know... oh she's playing a game! I think that's Interland, wow she is on level 78. super cool! Kingston: She on what?
Navaya: Shush, shush, shush, shush! Kingston: RUDE!! Ysabella: Whoooohooooooooooooooo!!!! Navaya: Yeah go ysa! Kingston: What is she doing- Navaya: SHUSH!!!! Kingston: WhAtEvEr!!!!! Navaya: Oliver, Mariah, Kenya! Ysa just made it to level 89!!!! Yeeeeeee!! Oliver: Cool. Mariah: ?. Kenya:?
1 hour later. still 8:00.
Ysabella: I'm on level 89,000,890. WOW!!!!
Kenya: How? Kingston: MOVE!!! Kenya: OWWW!!! Kingston: Sorry Uh I did not mean to do that, are you okay? Kenya: What do you think? Navaya: Guys stop hugging, and get over here. Kenya: Gross! Kingston: Dude? Braylon: Guys shut up!! Kenya and Kingston: WE GOT IT!!!
Ysabella: Your on level 90,890,9795, 4839,86903,6960,6 9506.996 WOOOOOOOOW!!! Kenya: That's a lot of numbers!! Kingston: SuRe is!
2 hours later, 9:09 a.m, Peyton: Okay GUYS THAT'S ENOUGH GAMES FOR RIGHT NOW! Leilani: Why Ysa so close to her winning streak of reaching 900.138.902 milion billion points and levels on Interland!! Yeeeey.Peyton: Wow, great, cool, amazing!! Who CARES!!!! I KNOW I DON'T!!!
Leilani: Yeah that's cause your heartless person! Who agrees?
All the class raised their hands. Peyton: Blah! Leilani: WHATEVER!
Peyton: Anyway the boss said that she wants us to do social studies. Who likes too? I know I don't.
5 hours later 10:10 a.m, Peyton: Okay let's see I'm reading from the passage "The great plains experienced a drought from 1932 to 1939. This nat- Madison: The answer is dust bowl! That's the answer... we did this in class and turned all our work in so y'all know yeah, end of the story. Peyton: Well what about Kenya? Kenya: I did it. Mariah: We all did it! Andre: Did you do it? Peyton: Of course I did the social studies work! Duh, I'm not an idiot. Andre: Well sure, that's what you think!
Peyton: Okay guys what shall it be for lunch? Any choices cause this is a one time thing, no seconds.
Raymond: Uh tacos.
Kingston: Wrong! Pizza!
Raymond: It's not Friday!
Ysabella: Guys stop, this is a one time thing, no second chances. They choose Pizza and Tacos. Kingston: Whateves. Raymond: No! Peyton: Okay fine I'll chose... and we will have Pizza and tacos with soda PLEASE and thanks. Raymond: Will that's not bad but I DON'T LIKE PIZZA!!! Navaya: Shut up Raymond, you're going to ruin this for us!
1 hour later.
Peyton: Okay guys, now let's get back to work!! NOW!
Kenya: No, we already did our work!
Peyton: Sure you did! Peyton rolls her eyes.
Navaya: Did you do all your work Miss.Hickman? Hmmm.
Ysabella: Yes, answer that question! Hehehehehe.
Peyton: Heheh hell.
Kingston: OOOOOOOOO you said the H word! Peyton: K so?
Kenya: Here it states "No kids shall use bad words also known as profanity in the school halls and inside the classroom". Kingston: Dang, wow! Kenya: Thanks!!
2 hours later. Peyton: Attention everyone! Attention!
Janiah: What is it now! Kenya: Yeah. David: Yes Ms. Hickman? What, I have manners. Alexis: WHAT!? Peyton: Thanks for the loud attention! Okay that's the past now who wants to learn Spanish? Janiah: Why? Not that that's a bad thing but why... WHY WOULD WE WANT TO LEARN SPANISH?! Kenya: Many reasons so we can begin a big way to not having to go to Spanish classes and other nonsense! Peyton: Sure that too and plus we're all bored right? Right!
56 mins later. Peyton: So how do you say Hello in Spanish? Kingston. Kingston: Hola, duh everyone knows that! Oliver: I don't, so thanks King thanks! Peyton: How do you say "Hello, how are you" in Spanish?
Ysabella: Hola, como estas? Boom did it! I got an A! Kenya: Good job! Ysabella: Gracias. Peyton: Wow, way to show off. how do you...
Kenya: How do you say "This is stupid" in Spanish oh wait "Esto es estupido" trust me I looked it up!! Alexis: Wow!!! did you use translate? Kenya: Si
55 mins later. Peyton: How do you say "Everyone in here is acting like jerks and morons, they won't stop interrupting me and won't SHUT THEIR faces like I asked them too do multiple times" anyone? Nevaeh Daniels raised her hand, go on Nev! Nevaeh: Todos aquí están actuando como idiotas y Imbécil, no dejarán de interrumpirme y no CERRARÁN SUS caras como les pedí que lo hicieran varias veces?
Peyton: Yes!!! But I meant that as a sarcastic type of way! Kenya: Okay freee time!!! Everyone cheers!!!
To be continued.... This is about a 11 year old girl in charge in her classroom and spending the rest of the week with annoying classmates.
4 hours later. Kingston: Will we finally got away from that witch! Jaden: Thank you universe! Madison: Wait do you mean witch as in Peyton? Kingston: Yes! Kenya: Red lipstick, Red lipstick, Red lipstick! Kingston: Red lipstick? Mariah: Yes we chose red lipstick is that a ding dang problem?! Kingston: No ma'am. Kenya: Peyton, guys RED LIPSTICK!! Do I have to say it in Spanish? Kingston: Guys Pey is on the way hurry...why? Cause she's looking for us DUMMY! Oliver: Okay ready. Geex.
1 hour later 7:00 p.m. Peyton in creepy way: Hey guys! Where are you! Kenya: Few more minutes! Ysabella: Peyton really has gone crazy!!! Kenya: Yeah shut up real quick! is it in position? Kingston: Sooooon. Kenya: Hury up you ding dang nitwit! Kingston: Blah! Kamrieiana: How is the dieinc? HOW ARE THEY?! Cornelese: There in place and don't spit in my face please. Kamrieiana: Sorry... HURRY UP MAN!!!! Jovani: HURRY Up DUDE!! Cornelese :O SHUT UP JOVANI!!!! Kenya: Hurry!!!
The next morning it was Tuesday, Peyton walked in the classroom feeling kind of mad at her classmates or co-workers. Peyton: Ugh! Stupid teachers!!!!! Leaving me in charge of the dumb class!!!! Jrks I mean JERKS!!!! Aniyah: O DANG It WHY THIS CLASSROOM!!!!!! Peyton: Blah! Aniyah: What? Peyton rolls her eyes at Aniyah. Aniyah: Keep rolling your eyes or they will get stuck up there!! Jarryd and Ethan walk in. Jarryd: O will hello Peyton! Ethan: Yes Hello.
2 mins ago. Kenya, Dijohn, Oliver, Osiris, Nevaeh, Mariah and Madison aka sisters came in. Kenya: Why this idiot? Oliver: Kenya that is mean but true at the same time. Osiris: Gotdang it I hate Peyton- Sometimes. Dijohn: I hate school and Pey too! Nevaeh: I like Pey she is nice. Kenya: Have you even met her?! Mariah: Hey guys listen I don't care about "Pey" I just came here to learn... Okay... now move Ken I got to work! Kenya: I don't blame you, excuse me!
4 minutes earlier. Dreylan, Janiah, Ji'Kyece, Laura, Braylon and Leilani both arrived TARDY. Dreylan: No, I prayed that she would not be here... PRAYED!!! Janiah: You prayed, I PRAYED 23 Times!! Ji'Kyece: Me, 45.
Laura: Enough! Save that for if it's really important! Braylon: And this is not Important!? Leilani: You guys are acting 2 year olds... 2 YEAR OLDS!!!! lets just find our seats... I mean come on, we did all of our work yesterday today will just be fun and games!! Laura: Yeah!!!
3 mins later. David, Ysabella, Kingston, Jazzlyn, Dylan,Tre'von and Jarod came in the classroom. David: Whyyyyyyyyyy! Ysabella: It should be time for Ms.Sumrall and Mrs.Lewis to get back from their stupid Teacher Trip! Kingston: Exactly! Jazzlyn: What are you guys so pissed off about? Dylan: oooooooo....oooooooo....ooooo!!! Tre'von: You said the P word! Jarod: Yeah We telln you momi! Ha...Ha...ha...ha...ha..ha...haeha! Jazzlen mama is goin to be so Mad! Jazzlen: Oh shut up witch face!!!!!!!
23 minutes later. Raymond,Y'uree, Elijah, Jessica and Bryson arrived TARDY As WELL As TARDY. Raymond: Nooooooooo! Y'uree: Yesssssss! Y'uree said yes in a sarcastic way. Jessica: whyyyy what did I do! Elijah: Man I hate School... HATE IT!!! Bryson: Wanna know who I do hate. Anthony and Peyton. Jessica: Because of that long pause thing? Bryson: Yesss, but that's not the point in this situwaytion! Raymond: True! Y'uree: True to that.
45 mins later. Peyton: Will class, hehe I sound so stupid right now but anyway we have 45 pages in our reading book to read, oh my bad... chapters! Anthony: Really? Bryson: She just said we have 45 chapters to read! Were you even listening?! Anthony: I was NOT TA- Peyton: Uh hmmm? Anthony: What...ever. Peyton: Okay guys enough of the mouth moving and more of the reading!!! Jessica: Will my book is tore in the middle section! Peyton: Gasp!!!! Fine I'll fix it! You big cry baby.
Jessica: Thanks?
All the kids came in late about around 10:10 a.m. Kingston: Help! Navaya: Shush! Hey guys we're just reviewing things since you know were in "school", and Peyton is still in charge! Ysabella: Wait why is she in charge? David: Will in contrast Mrs.Lewis and Ms.Sumrall have not returned from their so-one calls it "Vacation" so they put Peyton in charge of us since their is no substitute! Janiah: That sounds soooo stupid! David: Will do you know a substitute? Janiah: No! David: Well then.
Kenya B.
