Milk jokes
Why did the out of shape cow quit her job?
She got tired of jumping over the moon.
What's the hardest part when making skimmed milk?
Throwing the cow across the lake.
Where do you get milk from? The Milky Way, of course!
What do you get when a dog that is actually a Weeto is caught in an earthquake?
Just like a chocolate milkshake, only crunchy!
What type of bee makes milk?
A boobee.
What do you call milk that gets everything she wants?
Spoiled milk.
A farmer walks up to his farmer neighbor with a jug of milk. The farmer says, "I milked your cow." The neighbor replies, "I have a bull, not a cow."
What does milk and a kid with cancer have in common?
An expiration date.
What kind of bees produce milk?
Boobies.
What do you call a cow that doesn't produce any milk? An udder failure.
I go to the shop and buy 2 pints of kimo.
Guy spills milk on me. I say, "It's okay, we all make mistakes sometimes, but apparently your mom made a big one."
Cashier: "Will you want the milk in a bag today, sir?"
Customer: "I’ll just keep it in the carton if you don’t mind."
What do dairy products praise? Cheeseus.
A man tried to attack me with milk and cheese—how dairy!
What do you call a roach in milk?
A roach con leche. 😂
What do you call terrible milk?
Udder Bullshit.
Q: Why didn’t Santa eat the milk and cookies you set out for him?
A: He doesn’t exist, you childish sh**!
"Meow, meow, I'm a cow," I said.
"Meow, meow, I'm a cow."
A kid milks a cow and goes to school and tells his friends, "I milked a cow, and it took awhile for it to warm up." His brother came over and said, "We don't have cows, we have bulls."