Milk Jokes

A pregnant woman enters the hospital with her concerned husband. As she goes into labor, a group of doctors asked him if he would like to try a device that transfers your spouse's pain to the father's nervous system.

He agrees and the doctors turn the dial on the device to 10%. Strangely, the man felt little pain. They continued to adjust the dial until it stopped at 100%, yet the man felt nothing. Later on, the wife had delivered the baby and the pair left the hospital with a healthy baby only to find the milkman laying on their stairs with a puddle of blood around his head, shaking uncontrollably.

10 years ago my dad went to get milk. He said when he got back, he was going to tell me a joke. That joke better be worth it!

Is it weird that a milk carton has a date, and I don’t?

While fucking a hot auntie, pressing tightly her boobs and fondling, He: What do you feed your babies? She: Milk and orange juice. He: Wow, which side is orange juice? 😋

I once went to the bar for a pint, but the strippers there didn't have that much breast milk.

What did the cookie say to the milk?

What’s up duud?

What do you get from pampered cows?

Spoiled milk.

What do you call a woman with three boobs? Tres leches.

Why do Indians marry cows? Because they bathe in milk.

What's the difference between your mom and your dad? One leaves your life to go get milk, and the other cleans up after you, feeds you, and does your laundry.

What do you call a feminine cow?

A dairy queen.

You wanna know what I want for Christmas? My dad to come back with the milk he said he was gonna get.

What do you call an amazing goat?

A goat-zing.

A cow is at his friend's house for a sleepover party. Sadly, all of the beds are taken. Where does the cow sleep?

On the COWch (couch).

The Man: "Sonny, why do you come to get some milk every day?"

The Son: "Because milk is important."

The Man: "Why don't you ever come with your mom?"

The Boy: "Who?"

The Man: "Your mom?"

The Boy: "I don't have a mom."

The Man: "I'm sorry for your loss."

The boy stared for a moment when two men came out of the vehicle and picked up the boy.

I don't see why Africans complain about not having water. They have free chocolate milk.

What type of bees give milk?

Boob-bees.

What does Kylie Jenner feed her baby? Plastic MILK! LOL

What happens when a cow jumps over a wire fence?

Udder destruction.

What do you call diarrhea from a hot woman? Chocolate milk.

What do you call diarrhea from a fat woman? Arsenic.