Milk jokes
Your dad went to the shop to get milk, came back, went again, but never came back due to a car crash due to an itchy rash.
Aunt: Stop telling the kids Santa isn't real.
Me: Stop telling them their dad is going to get milk.
What did the cow call its own life? An udder mistake.
What's the same thing between milk and a kid with cancer?
They both have an expiry date.
Girl: Mom, meet my boyfriend.
Mom: Meet my boyfriend.
Girl's boyfriend: Dad, is that you? Are you back from the supermarket with milk?
Mom's boyfriend: Uh, gtg.
What do you get from a dwarf cow?
Condensed milk.
Doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom
Doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom
Doin' doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom
You know we straight with doin' your mom
Doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom
Doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom
Doin' doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom
You know we straight with doin' your mom
I’m doin' your mom. Yes yours!
I first saw her in the Wal-Mart pickin' out your drawers.
Big Dolly Parton hair like an 80s prom queen
But her ass was lookin' good all up in those mom-jeans.
I approached her in the checkout line, and said yo baby wassup?
She had two gallons of milk, and I was starin' at her jugs.
Five minutes later she agreed to get with me
So we went and rocked the minivan like Giggity. Giggity. Giggity.
I was ridin' your mom like she was Mario Kart.
I gave her a lift back to her crib cause her car wouldn’t start.
She invited me in the house, and we started makin' out again.
How many times I tap that ass? OVER 9000!
Yeah. She called me Pledge cause I knocked the dust off it.
She later made me a sandwich and she cut the crust off it.
Cause she knows how I like it, and that I’m a little young
To be in the bed, butt-naked doin' your mom.
Doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom
Doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom
Doin' doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom
You know we straight with doin' your mom
She had two gallons of milk, and I was starin' at her jugs.
What did my dad say before he went to go get milk?
"There's money in my wallet for pizza. I love you."
Wanna hear a joke? You need some milk.
What is the worst part of milking a cow?
The smell of the dairy air.
Which bees produce milk?
Boobies.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
De-calf-inated.
Kid's uncle: "Your mum said you can have your friends round tonight! But I'm gonna have to baby sit today."
Kid: "OK THANK YOU."
(AT BED TIME)
Kid: "Please may you stop touching my leg BEN!"
Ben: "I'm not."
(Turns light on) Kid: "UNCLEEEEE STOP SPILLING MILK OVER ME!!!"
I was at a milk store and ordered some milk.
They brought it over but spilled it on me.
I said that was a udder failure!
Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a smurf?
A: Blue cheese.
"Knock, knock?"
"Who's there?"
"Cow said."
"Cow said who?"
"Cow says moo you ding dong!"
Milk is that the Uganda way?
Cereal.
Want to hear a joke about milk? No, it's too cheesy.