Microwave jokes
What's the difference between anal rape and a microwave?
A microwave won't brown your meat.
The worst thing about an owl is how they can maintain eye contact when you put them in a microwave.
What comes up on small oceans? Microwaves.
Yo mama so clueless, she dialed 911 on the microwave.
A blonde walks in and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde comes back the next day with brown hair and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde comes back the next day with brown hair and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde asks, "That's it, how'd you know I was a blonde?"
The seller replies, "Because that's a microwave."
Do you put a baby in the microwave covered or uncovered?
Covered, it can take weeks to clean up the explosion.
There was a car accident, and the cops pull up to the crime scene to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said, "What happened here?" She responded by saying, "A car crash." They then asked, "But how did it happen?" She responded, "The cars crashed into each other." They finally said, "But why did it happen?" The lady said, "Oh, I know where you're going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas pedal, the car goes forward, and they both pushed it, so they both went forward and hit each other." One cop said, "Never mind, ma'am," and they started walking away.
The blonde lady then said, "Oh, and officers, my computer froze. Do you think I should put it in the microwave or in the oven?"
Me: I know how to use a microwave!
Also me: Mom! The microwave is on fire!
Why does Samsung sell TVs? 'Cause they make them! 😂🤣
Microwave.
Did you hear about the new German microwave? It has ten seats in it.
What's the resemblance between a microwave and human reproduction?
They both make a sound at the end.
How many time does it take to cook a baby in a microwave?
I don’t know, I can’t count while masturbating.
How do you pet a psychopath's cat?
You get it out of the microwave.
What do you call a baby in the shower? A baby in the shower.
How do you know a gay guy has been in your house?
There are speedos in the microwave.
Have a sink in your house? Eat it.
Have a mouse in your house? Kill it.
Have a child in your house? MICROWAVE IT.
...just kidding. Now watch this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5tjtUFL0j4
Q: What does a microwave and an M1 Garand have in common?
A: They both go “ping” when they’re done.
What's the worst part about microwaving vegetables?
Fitting the wheelchair in.
What do you call it when a midget waves at you?
A microwave.