Microwave jokes

What do you call it when a midget waves at you?

A microwave.

How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?

Put him in the microwave until his bill Withers.

What's red and bubbly and scratches at the microwave glass?

A baby in the microwave!

How long does it take for 5 babies to die in the microwave?

I don't know, I can't count while I masturbate...

What's the difference between a gay guy and a microwave?

The microwave doesn't brown the meat.

How long does it take to blow up a baby in the microwave?

I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate...