Mexican jokes

Why did the Mexican take Xanax?

For Hispanic attacks.

What do you call two Mexicans at a country restaurant? "Two beaners in a cracker house."

What does a Mexican Highlander say?

"There can be only Juan!"

What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill?

Taco Bell going out of business.

Why did Mexicans go to Area 51?

To show them what a real illegal alien looks like.

A Mexican was doing a magic trick. He said, "uno, dos," then disappeared without a trace.

What do you call a burned Mexican? A fried torteya.

When China built the Great Wall, the Mongols invaded them and founded the Yuan dynasty. With Trump building his wall, will the Mexicans invade the US and found the Juan dynasty?

Why doesn't Mexico compete in the Olympics?

Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump, and swim are in the U.S.

Mexican Comedy Week

Margarita Monday Taco Tuesday Wetback Wednesday Tequila Thursday Fiesta Friday Shake It Saturday Sneaky Sunday

What's the only thing Mexicans can unwrap on Christmas? Tamales.

There's four people on a roof: a Mexican, an Asian, a black guy, and a white guy. The Mexican walks over to the ledge and says, "This is for my people," and jumps off. The Asian also walks over to the ledge and says, "This is for my people," and jumps off. Then, the black guy walks over to the edge and says, "This is for my people," and pushes the white guy off.

What do you call it when a Mexican and a pedophile fight?

Alien vs Predator.

What do you call a pessimistic Mexican?

A Mexican't.

A Mexican boy said, "I can't do this." Then a guy says, "You can do it, we are Mexican, not Mexicant."

How's Donald Trump going to get rid of all the Mexicans? -- Juan by Juan.

What do you call a roach in milk?

A roach con leche. 😂

Three guys are on a plane: one is Asian, one is Mexican, and the other is an American. The pilot says, "There is too much weight on the plane, you all need to throw something off." So the Mexican threw out a burrito and said, "I have plenty of these where I come from." Then the Asian threw out some rice and said, "I have plenty of these in my country." The American threw out a bomb and said, "I have a lot of these in my country."

The plane crashes anyway, and the three men start to walk away from the crash. As they were walking, they found a boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of burritos fell out of the sky and got me all messy." The men started walking away and soon enough they found another boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of rice fell out of the sky and shredded all my clothes." The guys knew who did it but avoided the trouble. They kept on walking and found a kid laughing so hard he was on the ground, and they asked what had been so funny. The boy said, "MY GRANDPA FARTED AND THE HOUSE BLEW UP!!!"

I’m going to open my own Mexican restaurant and call it boarder patrol.

One day I went to smoke weed with some Mexicans, but they ran away when I asked if they had papers.