Mexican jokes
I bOi jug go CMC?
Why did the blonde have sex with a Mexican?
Her teacher told her that she had to do an essay.
What do Mexicans cut their pizza with? A Little Caesars.
A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and robbing banks in Texas. The banks offered a reward for his capture, dead or alive, but offered a much larger award for the recovery of the stolen funds.
An enterprising Texas Ranger decided to track him down. After a long and difficult search, he traced the bandit to his home town. On a hunch, he checked the town's cantina, and sure enough, there was the robber. The only other people in the bar were the bartender and a scrawny, older man at a back table. The time was right to make a move. The ranger drew his revolver, charged into the cantina, and announced: "You are under arrest. I get a reward for you, dead or alive. Tell me where the money is, and I'll let you live. If you don't, I'll shoot you right here, and save myself the trouble of having to take you back to Texas alive."
But the bandit didn't speak English, and the Ranger didn't speak Spanish. As it turned out, the scrawny man at the back of the bar happened to be a lawyer. He knew the robber, and was bilingual, and quickly offered to translate for the two of them. The ranger said: "Tell him that if he doesn't tell me where the loot is, I'll shoot him here and now." Upon hearing what the Ranger had said, and seeing the cold look in his eye, the bandit knew that the Ranger meant it - if he did not give up his loot, he was a dead man. Terrified, the bandit blurted out in Spanish that the loot was buried in an old barn at the outskirts of town. "What did he say?" asked the Ranger. The lawyer answered: "He said, 'You don't have the nerve to shoot me, Yankee swine.'"
How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just Juan.
What do you call the Spanish translation of the 9th Star Wars movie?
Rogue Juan.
Why are Mexican families so big?
They don’t know how to put a condom on.
I was gonna make a joke about Mexicans but honestly, it crosses the line.
What do white people and fences have in common? They both get jumped by Mexicans.
Do you want to wear my sombrero?
Or is that nacho style?
Don't be racist! BE LIKE MARIO!
He's an Italian plumber, created by the Japanese, who speaks English, and looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew.
Q: Why did the Mexican start taking anti-anxiety pills?
A: Because he was taking them for His-panic attacks.
I bet most of these mfs are white or not Mexican, lmao. Y'all really going at it with these jokes 😐
What do you call a Mexican with an m3?
A greaser.
What kind of truck does a Mexican drive?
F-Juan Fifty.
What's fast and almost got away?
A Mexican jumping the border.
How do you start a Mexican bedtime story?
Juans upon a time.
Mexican words of the day: Green, Pink, and Yellow :))
The phone go green green... I pink it up and say YELLOW!!??
A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three. He says, "uno, dos..." and poof! He disappears without a tres.
What do you get when you cross a German and a Mexican? A “BeanerSchnitzel”!