Mexican jokes

Mexican jokes and black jokes are pretty much the same.

Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal.

Why are Americans so shocked when it comes to Mexican drug cartels?

Because none of the drug lords (or their associates, for that matter) have shot up a school.

Why did the Mexican get put on anxiety meds?

Because of Hispanic attacks.

A German, an Australian, and a Mexican are on a plane. They say that they can tell where they are by sticking their hands out of the pane.

The German sticks his hand out and says, "We are in Germany." The others ask, "How do you know?" The German says, "Because it's so cold."

Then the Australian sticks his hand out and says, "We are in Australia." The others ask, "How do you know?" He replies, "Because it's so warm."

Then the Mexican sticks his hand out and back in. He says, "We are in Mexico." The others ask, "How do you know?" He says, "Because my watch is gone."

What do you call it when you baptize a Mexican? Bean dip!

I find it bemusing that hardcore right-wingers are superfans of Johnny Depp, considering that he looks like a dangerous Mexican drug lord.

Three rednecks, Billy, Joe, and John, are talking about their hobbies. They agree on shooting. John says, "I like shooting animals." Joe says, "I like shooting birds." Billy says, "I like shooting cans." Joe and John ask, "What kind of cans, like bear cans, Pepsi cans, or cola cans?" Billy responds, "Africans, Mexicans, Jamaicans, and Asian Americans."

What's a Mexican's favorite insect? A grasshopper.

What is the difference between a Mexican maid and a Jewish maid?

One of them won’t clean the oven.

An ICE agent tells a Mexican that he can get his green card if he can use green, pink, and yellow correctly in a sentence. The Mexican thinks for a minute and says, "My phone goes green, green, and I pink it up and say yellow."

What does a bridge and a fat chick have in common They both get laid by Mexicans

What do you call an ex eating Taco Bell?

Explosion.

What's the difference between 911 and a Mexican gardener?

One of them is an outside job.

What was the name of the Mexican that lost his car?

Carlos.

What do you call a mariachi band sinking in Mayonnaise?

Cinco De Mayo.

What do a fat woman and bricks have in common? They both get laid by Mexicans.

What looks like it has jaundice and is filled with stupidity?

A Mexican.

Uhhhh...

Why do Mexicans only drink hot drinks?

Because they're afraid of ice!

What do ICE and Mexican drug cartels both have in common?

They both kidnap Canadian women!