Yo mama so fat, she got baptized at SeaWorld.
What do you call it when you baptize a Mexican? Bean dip!
You should always wash your sex toys. That's why priests baptize babies.
A 6-year-old girl decides to get baptized. She walks into the water of the river. Unfortunately, the pastor was drunk. The pastor put her in the water and dunked her under. The drunken man then forgot to bring her up from the water. The poor girl drowned and died...
Later on, when the pastor was better and thrown in jail, all he had to say to the mortified family was, “Well, at least she’s in heaven!”
