Mexican jokes
Q: What do Mexicans love to wear in the air force?
A: Air Force Juans.
On Christmas, Mexicans wake up in the morning, then take a nap.
Joking, I know they work hard. They run all the way to the border to decorate the barbed wire.
What do you call a Mexican in the zombie apocalypse?
Answer: "Sweet and spicy chicken."
What’s a Mexican’s favorite sport?
Cross-country.
A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and robbing banks in Texas. The banks offered a reward for his capture, dead or alive, but offered a much larger award for the recovery of the stolen funds.
An enterprising Texas Ranger decided to track him down. After a long and difficult search, he traced the bandit to his home town. On a hunch, he checked the town's cantina, and sure enough, there was the robber. The only other people in the bar were the bartender and a scrawny, older man at a back table. The time was right to make a move. The ranger drew his revolver, charged into the cantina, and announced: "You are under arrest. I get a reward for you, dead or alive. Tell me where the money is, and I'll let you live. If you don't, I'll shoot you right here, and save myself the trouble of having to take you back to Texas alive."
But the bandit didn't speak English, and the Ranger didn't speak Spanish. As it turned out, the scrawny man at the back of the bar happened to be a lawyer. He knew the robber, and was bilingual, and quickly offered to translate for the two of them. The ranger said: "Tell him that if he doesn't tell me where the loot is, I'll shoot him here and now." Upon hearing what the Ranger had said, and seeing the cold look in his eye, the bandit knew that the Ranger meant it - if he did not give up his loot, he was a dead man. Terrified, the bandit blurted out in Spanish that the loot was buried in an old barn at the outskirts of town. "What did he say?" asked the Ranger. The lawyer answered: "He said, 'You don't have the nerve to shoot me, Yankee swine.'"
There's four people on a roof: a Mexican, an Asian, a black guy, and a white guy. The Mexican walks over to the ledge and says, "This is for my people," and jumps off. The Asian also walks over to the ledge and says, "This is for my people," and jumps off. Then, the black guy walks over to the edge and says, "This is for my people," and pushes the white guy off.
A Mexican boy said, "I can't do this." Then a guy says, "You can do it, we are Mexican, not Mexicant."
What do you call high Mexicans?
Baked beans ;)
What do you call someone that is Mexican that has a BMW?
A big Mexican woman.
Did you hear about the two-car pile-up in Mexico? Yeah like 200 Mexicans died.
You know the sport that Mexicans are good at?
Cross-country.
Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff?
Tequila.
What do you call a mariachi band sinking in Mayonnaise?
Cinco De Mayo.
What do you call it when a Mexican and a pedophile fight?
Alien vs Predator.
Why did the penguin pull out a tooth? It was Mexican.
What do you call a Mexican midget?
A paragraph, because he's not a full essay.
What do you call two Mexicans in a sleeping bag?
A Twix.
Why are Mexicans so bad in the Olympics?
Because all the ones that can run, jump, and swim live in America.
What do you get when you cross an octopus with a Mexican?
I don't know, but man can it pick lettuce.
Why did the chicken cross to the U.S. from Mexico?
To get to the U.S., but he had to show his papers first.