Mental Health jokes

The depressed kid walked into the counselor's office.

"I'm feeling like killing myself," he said.

"Oh no! Don't worry, sweetie, just hang in there!," the counselor responded.

I don't struggle with depression. Like at this point I got it down. I'm good at depression.

There's two types of emo people:

1. People that cut side to side.

2. And people that cut up and down.

The most efficient is up and down.

A depressed man was caught on top of the Empire State Building with marijuana. Needless to say, he didn't want to come down.

I sometimes want rampage, but what good would that do?

I look for a way out, but there's not even a light shining through.

The times where all is dark, are the times that I need a mark.

Though people say that nobody will care, the truth is: there's always one who's fair.

That person may not be the one you expect, but I am here with a passion to redirect.

Once there was a time where I tried to end it all, because I only looked on the dark side.

Truth was I wanted to be heard, to be respected, to let someone know.

But that was in the past and this isn't about my dark ride, it's time for others to know that only a few words, can extinguish a glow.

What do you call an obese man with bipolar? Twins.

You aren't alone. If you ever need to chat, I'm here. From one person to another. I hate this condition. I wish we didn't struggle.

I was sad, so I called the depression hotline. Turns out the depression hotline is where people roast you until you are depressed.

Me to my friend: I only date suicidal girls.

My friend: Why?

Me: Because that pussy is limited edition.

1. just feeling sad. 2. depression. 3. self harm. 4. suicide.

Roses are red.

Violets are blue.

I have schizophrenia,

And so do I.

When you're walking through the garden section at Walmart and you hear your grandpa screaming, "They're in the fucking trees!"

What do depressed people do when they’re bored?

They “Hang” Out.

What does a depressed person and a jacket have in common?

They’re both hanging in the closet.

Call me a bad economy with high interest rates and low spending, 'cause I'm in a great depression.

I'm a gay depressed person. Would that make me a happy unhappy person?

More expresso, less depresso. Jk, let's all drink bleach cuz life is a bitch.

Pain. Gained. Anxiety. Fulfilled. Insomnia. Depression. Always with me. Happiness... The one thing I can't have.

My friend said, "Why do you have depression? There is so much happiness in the world." And I said, "Why do you have asthma? There is so much air in the world."

Me: I have depression.

Someone: You should get out more! Go outside!

Me: *goes to the beach* Now it's a tropical depression.