Mental Health jokes

How do you tell if someone is depressed?

The brains on the wall.

If you’ve got depression, then your life is a joke. Everyone laughs at both.

What did the kid say to the emo?

"Don't leave me hanging!"

what's the worst thing to say to an emo?

if you don't succeed the first time, try try try again.

I wouldn't call a Suicide Help-line even if my life depended on it.

I don't struggle with depression. Like at this point I got it down. I'm good at depression.

A depressed man was caught on top of the Empire State Building with marijuana. Needless to say, he didn't want to come down.

I sometimes want rampage, but what good would that do?

I look for a way out, but there's not even a light shining through.

The times where all is dark, are the times that I need a mark.

Though people say that nobody will care, the truth is: there's always one who's fair.

That person may not be the one you expect, but I am here with a passion to redirect.

Once there was a time where I tried to end it all, because I only looked on the dark side.

Truth was I wanted to be heard, to be respected, to let someone know.

But that was in the past and this isn't about my dark ride, it's time for others to know that only a few words, can extinguish a glow.

What do you call an obese man with bipolar? Twins.

Me to my friend: I only date suicidal girls.

My friend: Why?

Me: Because that pussy is limited edition.

You aren't alone. If you ever need to chat, I'm here. From one person to another. I hate this condition. I wish we didn't struggle.

I was sad, so I called the depression hotline. Turns out the depression hotline is where people roast you until you are depressed.

1. just feeling sad. 2. depression. 3. self harm. 4. suicide.

Roses are red.

Violets are blue.

I have schizophrenia,

And so do I.

When you're walking through the garden section at Walmart and you hear your grandpa screaming, "They're in the fucking trees!"

Looking in the mirror, I don’t need a therapist, god damn, I wanna be a terrorist.

What do depressed people do when they’re bored?

They “Hang” Out.

The last words of a depressive person are: "Yay, Freedom."

Me- *crying in the shower*

Also me- *why is my toaster in here?*

Me: "Oh man, things are really happening for me! I have so much to do!"

Depression: "Lie in bed."