Mental Health jokes

Hey girl, are you suicide? 'Cause I think of you everyday.

I don't struggle with depression. Like at this point I got it down. I'm good at depression.

A depressed man was caught on top of the Empire State Building with marijuana. Needless to say, he didn't want to come down.

There's two types of emo people:

1. People that cut side to side.

2. And people that cut up and down.

The most efficient is up and down.

I sometimes want rampage, but what good would that do?

I look for a way out, but there's not even a light shining through.

The times where all is dark, are the times that I need a mark.

Though people say that nobody will care, the truth is: there's always one who's fair.

That person may not be the one you expect, but I am here with a passion to redirect.

Once there was a time where I tried to end it all, because I only looked on the dark side.

Truth was I wanted to be heard, to be respected, to let someone know.

But that was in the past and this isn't about my dark ride, it's time for others to know that only a few words, can extinguish a glow.

What do you call an obese man with bipolar? Twins.

I was sad, so I called the depression hotline. Turns out the depression hotline is where people roast you until you are depressed.

Me to my friend: I only date suicidal girls.

My friend: Why?

Me: Because that pussy is limited edition.

You aren't alone. If you ever need to chat, I'm here. From one person to another. I hate this condition. I wish we didn't struggle.

1. just feeling sad. 2. depression. 3. self harm. 4. suicide.

Roses are red.

Violets are blue.

I have schizophrenia,

And so do I.

When you're walking through the garden section at Walmart and you hear your grandpa screaming, "They're in the fucking trees!"

Me- *crying in the shower*

Also me- *why is my toaster in here?*

Me: "Oh man, things are really happening for me! I have so much to do!"

Depression: "Lie in bed."

The last words of a depressive person are: "Yay, Freedom."

What do depressed people do when they’re bored?

They “Hang” Out.

Me: I have depression.

Someone: You should get out more! Go outside!

Me: *goes to the beach* Now it's a tropical depression.

My friend said, "Why do you have depression? There is so much happiness in the world." And I said, "Why do you have asthma? There is so much air in the world."

Pain. Gained. Anxiety. Fulfilled. Insomnia. Depression. Always with me. Happiness... The one thing I can't have.

I'm a gay depressed person. Would that make me a happy unhappy person?