Mental Health jokes
I once called a depressed guy [to ask] why he loves ropes so much, and he left HUNGing on the phone. (I'm not English, so I could've talked bad.)
Preventing suicide is best done by committing it.
I was in a motivational seminar about depression the other day, and she said I could be anything I wanted to be if I put my mind to it. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and do it, even if it's messy.
(demons in my head) I laugh to meet them...
One depressed kid goes to high-five a tree, but the tree just left him hanging.
Mom: You will make me kill myself.
Me who has cut first: I'll kill myself ✨first✨!
What do you get when I get mixed with coffee?
De-presso.
My son came up to me and said, "Dad, I'm depressed."
I pointed to the spare room and said, "Hang in there, son."
There are too many suicidal people in this world. I’m going to make sure there is at least one less.
A guy barges into a psychiatrist’s office and screams, “Doctor! I have suicidal tendencies! What do I do?!”
The doctor calmly answers, “Pay me in advance.”
It’s OK if emo kids always hang from the trees, but if we do it, it’s considered against the law.
what do you call an emo person who's not depressed?
dead.
My ex-boyfriend threatened to kill me because I was suicidal.
I wanted to tell him, "Well, can we get what we both want?" I was already planning on dying anyway.
Roses are red, violets are blue, the last time people got depressed ended World War II.
People say that they can read people's faces; then how come nobody sees me breaking inside?
What did the kid say to the emo?
"Don't leave me hanging!"
If you’ve got depression, then your life is a joke. Everyone laughs at both.
People trying to stop me from being depressed: “Just cheer up!”
Me: “WOW, I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT!”
How do you tell if someone is depressed?
The brains on the wall.
The depressed kid walked into the counselor's office.
"I'm feeling like killing myself," he said.
"Oh no! Don't worry, sweetie, just hang in there!," the counselor responded.