Mental Health jokes

What do you call an emo strip club?

Suicidal Thots.

How to complement a depressed person: "I like your cuts, g."

So, a few hours ago my friend said I need to CUT it out with the s/h jokes... like... it's really not that deep?

When you realize you have depression, and depression realizes how stupid you were.

What’s a depressed kid’s favorite game? Hangman.

Q. What's the biggest cause of infant drownings? A. Postpartum depression.

What do you call a group of depressed kids with guns?

The suicide squad.

To the guy who stole my depression medication,

I hope you're happy.

I can't believe the suicide hotline put my cousin on hold. They left him hanging.

Why are emo jokes so infamous?

Because they cut deep.

Just because you‘re suicidal, you don‘t have to be a quitter.

Wait, actually.

What was Kurt Cobain's biggest flaw?

He had a short temper and lost his head over everything.

Imagine there’s a funny joke here. Imagine it? Great! Now check yourself into an insane asylum because you’re schizophrenic.

I wish my hair was depressed.

Cause then it would cut itself.

What's the benefit of taking a depressed kid to the store?

Scan the wrist and you might get a discount.

There's two types of emo people:

1. People that cut side to side.

2. And people that cut up and down.

The most efficient is up and down.

Depressed procrastinators feel like they wanna kill themselves sometime soon.

I don’t struggle with depression, at this point I’ve got it down. I’m good at depression.

What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza?

Pizza won't cut itself.

Looking in the mirror, I don’t need a therapist, god damn, I wanna be a terrorist.