Means jokes

"Disease" technically means "lack of ease," so if a girl is hard to get, call her a disease.

That's what Elliot Rodger did.

Mom asks, "Why are you are THIS show??? It's DISTRACTING you from SCHOOL!!!!!"

The child says, "Don't you mean SCHOOL is distracting ME from this AWESOME show?"

Mom whispers, "Oh, you DEAD."

Two Canadians die and end up in Hell. Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they're happy.

They tell him, "Well, we're so sick of the cold where we're from, and this place is nice and toasty."

Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell's boiler room, where he turns up the temperature.

He goes back to the Canadians' room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to put the heating back down. He enters the room to see the Canadians having a barbecue. Furiously, he asks them what they're doing.

"Well, we can't pass up this wonderful weather without getting out the barbecue!"

Satan realizes he's been doing the wrong thing. He goes to the boiler room and turns it down until it's at a colder temperature than ever seen on earth.

He knows he's won now, so he goes back to the Canadians' room, only to see them jumping up and down in excitement.

He shouts at them in fury, "WHY ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?!?!?!"

They look at him and shout at the same time, "Hell froze over! That means the Leafs won!"

Why do so many people hate Bill Cosby? I mean, all he did was have affairs with drunk, attention-seeking women. They literally begged for it.

"In chess, a queen can move in more directions than the king."

I mean, yeah, the chessboard looks like a kitchen floor, so-

I love telling jokes about orphans. I mean, what are they going to do about it? Tell their parents?

Do you know pigeons die when they have sex?

I mean, the one I fucked died.

I looked up how fast cum shoots and it said 28 mph. That means that ejaculation is illegal in school zones!

Why are so many people mean to orphans?

They can’t cry to their parents.

Therapist just mean the-rapist.

Just 'cause I’m gay doesn’t mean I want you. I’m shocked anyone would.

If you're reading this, then your life means nothing...

Have a nice day! 🙂😊

What’s the difference between weed and pussy?

If you can smell weed from across the room, it means the weed's good.

Her: "Land of the free".

Me: *fat*

Her: What do you mean?

Me: It's not fat-free.

So, if Russia was the motherland and Germany was the fatherland, what does that mean?

The Western Front is domestic violence.

If a kid doesn't take their nap, doesn't that mean they are resisting arrest?

Waiter: "Here you go, one medium-rare steak."

Me: "I like it well done."

Waiter: "Thanks, that means a lot!"

Orphans are pretty tough. I mean, you never see them running home...

The name Brynley means "burnt wood" lolololol.

Dude, if you're at the ATM, wouldn't that mean you're buying your own money?