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There was a new kid in my school. The first thing the teacher said was, "Me, you, the basement NOW!"

Before my grandad died, he whispered to me, "Is your uncle still in the basement?" I said he has died. Oh, my grandad said, "I will lock him in heaven's basement."

My mum found a chest that was wet, and it had a child in it. She asked me what it was for. I said I put kids in it and chuck it in a river until they are dead.

I was having a party in my basement, and my friend asked me what that bag covered in blood was for. I said, "Oh, that's the bag I catch the children with to torture them in this basement."

My builder was extending my basement when he questioned me because he found three dead kids in a corner tied together.

So a girl goes to Santa in the mall, and Santa asks what she would like for Christmas. So the kid says: “a little sister”. So then Santa says: “bring me your mother!”

All-star gay mix

Somebody once told me The world is gonna rape me The dick's the hardest part of the body She looked like she's having fun With her finger and her thumb In the shape of an "L" in her bumhole.

Well, I started cumming And she started cumming Fed with dick, she's in love with bumming Didn't make sense not to live for bum Your dick gets hard, but your ass gets numb.

So much to fuck, so much to suck So what's wrong with eating the asshole? You'll never know if you don't try You'll never taste if you don't lick.

Hey now, you're a porn star Get your sex on, bum pain Hey now, you're a porn star Suck a schlong, ass frail And all that glitters is cum Only sperm heads break the female egg.

It's a gay place and they say it gets gayer You're licking bum now, wait 'til your a bit older But the bent boys beg to differ Judging by the hole in the homeless man's throat.

The sperm in the bath is getting pretty thin The sperms getting warm so you might as well swim My world's on cocaine, how about yours? That's the way I like it and I never get raped!

Hey now, you're a porn star Get your sex on, bum pain Hey now, you're a porn star Suck a willy, ass frale And all that glitters is cum Only sperm heads break the female egg.

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    • I was walking home, then I saw a "Wait" sign. A man came and took me. I'm still waiting for him to ask for a lesson.

    My teacher: Oliver will be transitioning.

    Me: tRaNsItIoNiNg!!!!

    My teacher: He will be transitioning from primary school to secondary school.

    Me: I thought you meant another transitioning...

    Mom told me drugs are my enemies.

    Jesus said to like your enemies.

    Yay, I can like drugs then!

    Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you? A: Act like a nut! 😂

    Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes? A: Because they'd crack each other up.

    Son: Dad, can you put my shoes on? Dad: No, son, I don't think they would fit me.

    I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.

    I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.

    It is reported that when Churchill met Stalin at Yalta, they discussed their hobbies.

    Churchill said: "I collect the jokes people tell me about me."

    "That's a coincidence," said Stalin, "I collect the people who tell jokes about me."

    So, y'all remember Hitler, right?

    Ok, so I own a gun with Nazi rounds. I shot a guy who was entering my home who wasn't invited. He said, "Did you shoot me with Nazi rounds?" Then I said, "Do you mean 'nein' millimeter?"