ME jokes

You: What do you call a door knob without the lock?

Me: I don't know.

You: Are you sure?

Me: I don't know.

You: Okay.

"Brown bear, brown bear, what do you see?" I see a blind man looking at me.

"Blind man, blind man, what do you see?"

Oh sorry, I forgot you can't see.

Friend: Slavery isn't good.

Other friend: Yeah, it's terrible.

Me: Shut up and get me a juice!

I asked a girl I met if I could take her out to dinner.

The joke is I knew right after she said, "I'll call you," she was lying to me, not surprised even a little.

The next joke was a part of me hoped she would call, but did I really think she was going to? I'll never be good enough for anyone, what was I thinking, why did I even bother to ask her in the first place? I think it was just to prove I was right, I'm unwanted.

LONELINESS EQUALS SADNESS.

My mom told me to get off the computer or she will slam my head into the keyboard.

I don't think she lskdjfklsdjf.

My gf dumped me, so I took her wheelchair.

Guess who came crawling back?

  • 6

    • A woman has been raped by a man. She calls the police, and a policeman shows up.

    Woman: "Please help, officer! I have been raped!"

    Officer: "No problem, ma'am, I will just unrape you."

    Woman: "What? Unrape me? How?"

    Officer proceeds to bring back the rapist and forces the woman to rape the rapist back in order to cancel out the initial rape.

  • 2

    • Kid: Where do I put this paper?

    Teacher: I already said go ask your neighbors.

    Kid: Ok. *Walks home to his neighbor's house*

    Kid: Hey neighbor, I didn't know where to put this paper, and my teacher said to ask you. Do you know?

    Neighbor: No, sorry, I don't.

    Kid: Okay, bye! *Kid walks back to school.*

    Kid: Teacher, my next-door neighbor didn't know.

    Teacher: Ugh, you went home?!

    Kid: Yes, you told me to!

    Teacher: I meant at school!

    Kid: Ohhhhhh!

    Teacher: Duh!