Math jokes

What's the square root of your dead?

9/11.

If Carlos and Jose took a brownie from me and I had 10 to start, what do I have?

Answer: A math problem.

What’s 1+1?? The number of parents orphans don’t have!

3+3=****

My math teacher walked by and asked me, "What is that?"

I said, "Paper."

She said, "Really?"

I said, "Yeah, do you need glasses?"

I had a conversation with a Möbius strip.

It was one-sided.

A teacher is teaching a class algebra. Timmy, you've worked out it is AK, but what is 59 minus 12? Timmy shakes his head, not knowing. The teacher asks, "How about AK 49 minus 2?" Timmy replies with um... The teacher becomes frustrated and yells, "What comes after AK, Timmy!?" The white kid at the back stands, shouts 47, and pulls the trigger.

I once dated a math teacher. It turned out she was nothing but problems.

Why is the number 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.

What's so bad about 9 divided by 11?

There's only 3 types of people: the ones who can count and the ones that can't.

Katy Perry can't sing, can't dance, doesn't write music, is unbelievably ugly, and is unable to decipher maths or science. Really though, I didn't realize going down on a record executive would later lead her to be one of the people able to go to space.

What is the similarity between math and buildings?

Two parallel lines can be intersected by a plane.

Why are Asians good at math?

Because the dog can’t eat their homework.

I’m really good at algebra. I can replace your X without even asking Y.

If hi = hi?

What does 6 tell 7?

"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!"

Why are corners so hot?

They are always 90 degrees.

So there was a reason why I hated math.

I suck at problem-solving.

Q: What's 1+1? 2+2? 4+4? 8+8? Name a vegetable.

A: Carrot 🥕