Math jokes
There were 25 cows, 28 chickens. How many didn't?
(Ten, if you count in base 13!)
How did the shark do on his math test?
Jawesome!
2 + 2 is 4, minus one, that's 3. Quick maths.
What's 6 plus 7?
67.
I had asked my dog what 2 - 2 is...
She said nothing.
What's the square root of your dead?
9/11.
3+3=****
What’s 1+1?? The number of parents orphans don’t have!
My math teacher walked by and asked me, "What is that?"
I said, "Paper."
She said, "Really?"
I said, "Yeah, do you need glasses?"
I had a conversation with a Möbius strip.
It was one-sided.
If Carlos and Jose took a brownie from me and I had 10 to start, what do I have?
Answer: A math problem.
A teacher is teaching a class algebra. Timmy, you've worked out it is AK, but what is 59 minus 12? Timmy shakes his head, not knowing. The teacher asks, "How about AK 49 minus 2?" Timmy replies with um... The teacher becomes frustrated and yells, "What comes after AK, Timmy!?" The white kid at the back stands, shouts 47, and pulls the trigger.
Why is the number 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.
What's so bad about 9 divided by 11?
Katy Perry can't sing, can't dance, doesn't write music, is unbelievably ugly, and is unable to decipher maths or science. Really though, I didn't realize going down on a record executive would later lead her to be one of the people able to go to space.
I’m really good at algebra. I can replace your X without even asking Y.
There's only 3 types of people: the ones who can count and the ones that can't.
What do you call a rude math teacher with a lisp?
A mathive dick.
What is the similarity between math and buildings?
Two parallel lines can be intersected by a plane.
Your hairline is like a math expression, there is no solution.