Math jokes

I had a conversation with a Möbius strip.

It was one-sided.

My math teacher walked by and asked me, "What is that?"

I said, "Paper."

She said, "Really?"

I said, "Yeah, do you need glasses?"

If Carlos and Jose took a brownie from me and I had 10 to start, what do I have?

Answer: A math problem.

I had asked my dog what 2 - 2 is...

She said nothing.

What's the square root of your dead?

9/11.

What’s 1+1?? The number of parents orphans don’t have!

3+3=****

A teacher is teaching a class algebra. Timmy, you've worked out it is AK, but what is 59 minus 12? Timmy shakes his head, not knowing. The teacher asks, "How about AK 49 minus 2?" Timmy replies with um... The teacher becomes frustrated and yells, "What comes after AK, Timmy!?" The white kid at the back stands, shouts 47, and pulls the trigger.

I once dated a math teacher. It turned out she was nothing but problems.

Why is the number 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.

What's so bad about 9 divided by 11?

What do you call a rude math teacher with a lisp?

A mathive dick.

Katy Perry can't sing, can't dance, doesn't write music, is unbelievably ugly, and is unable to decipher maths or science. Really though, I didn't realize going down on a record executive would later lead her to be one of the people able to go to space.

I’m really good at algebra. I can replace your X without even asking Y.

Why are Asians good at math?

Because the dog can’t eat their homework.

There's only 3 types of people: the ones who can count and the ones that can't.

What did the mermaid wear for math class?

Algaebra.

3.14% of sailors are pirates.

What did the math book say to the guidance counselor?

Idiot 1: Why are cows good in math?

Idiot 2: I don't know why.

Idiot 1: Because they have built-in cowculators!