89 cows = 0 cows.
Why was sis afraid of seven?
Cuz 7 ate 9.
How many times can you subtract 10 from 100?
Once. The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90.
Why did the boy study for his math test in a tree?
'Cause he wanted higher grades.
Why did two fours skip lunch? They already ate.
Why was the math book so sad? Because it was filled with problems.
So, Little Johnny comes home from school knowing damn well he messed up his math test. His mother and father get home and he tells them, "Mom, I failed my math test." His mother aggressively says, "Get the belt!" Johnny says, "Why?" His mother says, "I'm gonna spank you for failing!" Johnny says, "So just like daddy?" His father turns red knowing what they did last night.
Student: There are 505 rocks in a car. If 8 fall out, how many are left?
Teacher: There will be 497 rocks left.
Student: Ok!!
Student: How do you put an alligator in a closet?
Teacher: You can't, it won't fit.
Student: No!! Just open the door, put the alligator in, then close the door.
Teacher: Ohhh, now I get it.
Why are Amoebas so bad at math?
Because, when they need to multiply, they divide.
A girl tried 77.34 (77.34) times to think of a word opposite of BYE. Then her brother divided the word BYE. 77.34 divided by 100. TRY IT!!
You know how 6 is afraid of 7 because 7 8 9? Well, 10 is afraid because he was in the middle of 9/11.
Laila has 69 boobs, but that is 222 too many. One day, she went on 51st Street to meet Dr. X, who ate all her boobs, and now she's boobless :)
6922251 x 8 = 55378008. Put the calculator upside down.
A teacher asked his students a math question.
"You have one dollar. Your parents give you five dollars. How much money do you have?"
After some thinking, about half the class raised their hands. The teacher called on a little girl in the front.
"One dollar!" she said.
There were 25 cows, 28 chickens. How many didn't?
(Ten, if you count in base 13!)
Why is 1 equal to 22?
4 is too busy and one has the 21s to 4!
I once dated a math teacher. It turned out she was nothing but problems.
Type this in your calculator:
5 days a week (type in 5),
6 different classes (type in 6),
7 hours a day (type in 7),
x
2 semesters (type in 2),
=
flip the calculator over ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°).
I tried to calculate 3/(my life), and I kept getting zero.
What did the dumb kid call ratios?
A type of cereal.
I remember having a crush on my math teacher, so I winked at her and said, "Don't worry, babe, I'll call you later."
