Man jokes
Kid: Mom, what’s dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Kid: But, Mom, I’m blind!
Mom: Exactly.
What did the tower say to the other?
"Man, someone's on fire today!"
Man, I am jealous of the victims of 9/11. They are the fastest readers, who went through 87 stories in 8 seconds.
What did the woman say to the man?
"Stop."
What did the man do?
Keep going.
FUCK MEN IN THE ARSE
Meant to say my friend's nan, not man.
My friend's man has seizures, so guess who won their breakdancing tournament.
How do you spot a blind man in a nudist resort?
It's not hard.
Like if you think oily men are hot.
What do you call a FAT Man under 5'9"?
A JUMBO shrimp.
Bye, I'm Paul Badman. Did you know that you don't have rights? The Articles of Confederation say you don't, and so do I. I believe that until proven innocent, every woman, man, and adult in this country is guilty. And that's why I don't fight for you, Santa Fe!
What does the handicapped man say to the cops when he’s mistaken for a criminal: "Don't shoot, I'm unarmed!"
A man walks into his bedroom where his wife is carrying a sheep under her arm and says, "This is the pig I've been fucking."
Wife says, "That's not a pig; that's a sheep, dumbass."
Husband says, "I was talking to the sheep."
What did the dinosaur say to the man?
It didn’t, they're dead.
The man told the women, “Roses are red, violets are blue, you suck cock and you enjoy it too.”
Then she said that's true.
So, little Johnny is walking down the street and asks a stranger, "Sir, what are hormones?"
Then the man replies, "The moans of a fucking whore!"
Q: What are women better than men at doing?
A: Winning arguments.
Q: What are men better than women at doing?
A: Winning swimming titles.
Why did Dad Man quit acting?
I don’t know either.
Thanks for the birthday wishes. It's been an odd one this year, as some of you know, my father suddenly passed away on my birthday last year, and anyone who knew the old man knew he had a sledgehammer wit!
Good on ya dad, ya definitely got the last laugh!
Man, I hate the government.
What do you get when you cross a cow and the Kool-Aid Man? Donald Trump, cuz of his red face and juicy tits.