Make jokes
How does Moses make his coffee?
Hebrews it.
Dark humor and women are very similar...
Not everyone appreciates them, but they both give everyone something to make fun of.
I'm a gay depressed person. Would that make me a happy unhappy person?
Does this sentence make any sense?
Yo mama is so poor, she makes her own hand sanitizer.
POV: when u ask ur sibling something and they make this face?
The point of war is not to die for your country, but to make the fresh recruit on the enemy's side die for his.
They are making a movie about clocks.
It’s about time.
What does a doctor do to make you better?
Helium.
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were out on a hike. They had been going all day, so they decided to make camp and stay for the night. They both woke up at 3 A.M.
Holmes said, "Look up, Watson, what can you see?"
"Judging from the position of the stars, it looks like it's about 3 A.M."
"What else, Watson?"
"It looks like it will be a beautiful day tomorrow."
"What Else, Watson?"
"What am I supposed to see, Holmes?"
"Elementary my dear Watson, someone stole our tent!"
Make a wish.
Kid: I don't want to go to Disney World, I just want to keep living my life.
Make a Wish Staff: Get the F*** out!
One time, I was making a caramel apple.
When I mistook 1 gallon of caramel for 1 camel!
My boss said she would've loved to meet Bill Cosby as a child. I don't get why I'm getting arrested. I was just making sure his dream came true.
How do you make a suicidal guy go bungee jumping?
Tie the bungee cord around his neck.
What happens when you fail to be an emo? You don't make the cut.
Don't make fun of the emo kid, or he's gonna bring his friends and you gotta fight the Suicide Squad.
The difference between women and beer is that beer makes you happy for nothing, why women make you angry for nothing.
Kid 1: Guys, stop making 9/11 jokes. My dad died in 9/11.
Kid 2: Sorry, I didn't know.
Kid 1: He was the best fighter pilot in all of Saudi Arabia.
OKAYYYY guys, today we're going to make DIY bath bombs. I bet y'all already have the first ingredient right here in your kitchen:
*looks at toaster*
I was making a bet with my grandfather about who would die first. I said that I would die first.
He said "Bet" and died after he drank his coffee.
He was my least favorite grandparent.
Imagine getting a call and it says, "Welcome to David's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may we help you?"