Make

Make jokes

Milk

    • Milk makes you tall, right?

    Well how did you get tall if your dad didn't come back with the milk?

    Oatmeal

    • Clarie: I don't even care if it was a joke he made on me, you and Karlen, and if you think I'm getting over it, then you must have an oatmeal for a brain.

    Jordan: Clarie ... you are so sensitive when she tells a little joke about you, me, and Karlen.

    Clarie: It was painful!

    Jordan: Who cares? I laughed. Ben is not a bad person, okay, calm down.

    Clarie: Ben is a bad person. We are making friends with a bully/thug, but you say that he is not a "bad person", my mom is going to kill me if she finds out that I am hanging out with those kinds of people!

    Jordan: Then don't tell her! Listen, I need you, give Ben a chance! Please?

    Clarie: Shush, Karlen is coming!

    Karlen: Hey guys, that Ben guy for sure has a way of saying words, I wish I could hurt him!!

  • 0

    • Library

    • I went to a library and I started to make fun of a disabled guy. He started crying, and I said, "Stand up for yourself!"

  • 1
    • Make memes

    Tower

    • I was doing a magic show. I tried to make a bunny disappear, but it didn’t work.

    I walked outside in shame. I looked up and realised the towers had disappeared!!!!

  • 1

    • Sex

    • My boyfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of his Honda Civic, but I refused. If I’m going to have sex, it’s going to be on my own Accord.

  • 1

    • Poacher

    • The poacher agrees but says that his assistant is ill and will need the man to come with him in his assistant's place. The man agrees, and so the poacher goes out to the jungle with the man.

    The poacher brings a pair of handcuffs, a long stick, a shotgun, and a dog. They search through the jungle for about an hour and then spot a male gorilla above in the treetops.

    The man asks the poacher what the plan is. The poacher replies, "I'm going to climb the tree and, when I get close enough, I'm going to start poking the gorilla with the stick until it falls out of the tree.

    The dog is a specially trained dog. When the gorilla falls out of the tree, the dog will try to bite off the gorilla's balls. When the gorilla moves its hands to protect its balls, you put the handcuffs on it."

    This all seems to make sense to the man, but he has one question. "What is the shotgun for?" he asks the poacher. The poacher responds: "If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla, shoot the dog."

  • 1

    • Cat

    • My cat sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her food prepared for her. She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365. Her meals are provided at no cost to her. She visits the doctor once a year for her checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this she pays nothing, and nothing is required of her.

    She lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than she needs, but she is not required to do any upkeep. If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. She has her choice of luxurious places to sleep. She receives these accommodations absolutely free. She is living like a queen, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of her costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.

    I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head, Holy Sh*t, my cat is a Democrat!

  • 2

    • Bomb

    • I wanted to bomb a restaurant, so I went in there with a bomb, but the bomb got diffused and did not work.

    I asked a person standing nearby. I said, "Hey, do you know how to fix this bomb so I can blow up this place?"

    He gave me a book.

    It was the Quran.

    I said, "What the hell is that?"

    He said, "This is the official manual for bomb making."

  • 1

    • Friend

    • My friends were worried that I was making suicide jokes so much, so I said, "Don't worry, you won't have to hear them much longer."

  • 1