Make jokes

I tried out some puns to make people laugh, but no pun in ten did.

Someone asked me what the worst mistake you could make while being at work was, and I replied, "Being a doctor and mixing up the oral and rectal thermometers."

A puma was making another puma laugh. That puma that was laughing said, “Stop making me laugh! I’m gonna puma pants!”

I heard every single machine in the coin factory just broke down all of a sudden.

It just doesn’t make any cents!

Why did the cheese fail the test? It couldn't make the grade, curd.

Q: Why can’t Jesus make fun of gay people?

A: He got nailed first.

A woman is lying in bed after making love to her lover. After a moment, she starts to roll over, and in the process, she realizes that the spent condom is still inside her.

Worried, she wakes up her lover. She asks, “What should we do about this?” To which he replies: “Who was it?”

What's the same thing between a baby and a grenade?

They both make a sound when thrown.

Now it's time to make fun of Asians.

What do you call an Asian eating jelly? Yellow Jell-O.

I was going to make a depressing joke, but my parents already did.

I’d make a joke about prostitutes and women sleeping with multiple men, but it would just be whore-ible.

I might not be able to make my bed, but at least I can get out of it.

Everyone tells me I need to stop making prostitute jokes.

I guess they're whore-ible.

What makes genders and Twin Towers similar?

There used to be two of them, and now it's a sensitive subject.

Do depressed people hate swimming?

They hate it because they are already drowning in their depression, but they love it because it might make all their dreams come true.

To start off this Christmas season, I'ma make a list of what I want, then I'ma make plans with my family, then to start off my decorations, I'ma start with the first ornament and hang myself.

Pro tip: How to not hit your thumb with a hammer, make your child hold the nail.

I made a website about orphans.

But I can’t make a home page.

Sometimes when I think I'm ugly, I just think of my sister and it makes me feel better.

Roses are red, violets are blue, like my hole, Uncle Bill is making me full, better run here he comes!